Texts From Last Night - part deux
 

One of the best ones I've seen :lmao:

(707):
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting


:lol

I love that site. Passes the time at work nicely.

yep, one of my favorite, "i'm bored" sites.

I look at it almost daily. Fucking love it.

(214):

How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?

(541):

So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

James

:bigrofl:


Holy shit that is funny.

One of my favorites!

Damn, I can't stop laughing at this one. :lol

I saw that one. Wonder if it is on the "best of" list yet.

(315):
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

(401):
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

(516):
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Mic ha el Jac kso n was ordering take out from heaven.

(774):
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

(215):
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section


:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

(408):
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.

(717):
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...


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(512):
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants

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(314):
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?

(573):
pat the guy you slept with

(314):
still need a last name

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(814):
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

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(214):
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?

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(973):
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could

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(970):
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better

She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.

(407):
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

Am I the only one who doesn't find these amusing.

They would be funny if they were true, but 99% of them are made up, hence they are ghey.

I was thinking about that the other day. Because of that I don't find everyone of them funny but some just crack me up. The Mortal Kombat one had me laughing my ass off. I didn't care if it was true or not. When I was 16 I had a townhouse with three other guys. I could almost see them saying that.

True or not some of them are good.

James

I don't find it funny at all for the same reason. None of it is true.

I submitted one but it never showed up. It was funny as hell.

I think some of them are true. The stupidity of college kids knows no bounds. :idk:

I don't care if they're true or not, I still find some of them funny.

Me too.

college kids don't text in complete sentences or use proper spelling.

Some do. The site edits the text. They sometimes they think its better to have less info. So they are not always the way they were sent in.

James

You guys are too easily amused. Go watch some 3 stooges reruns. :skep:

And you're too stiff. Relax a little.

and what was this submission?

I'll bet there are a lot more real ones than you guys think.

I'm sure there is. Early on I'm sure most were early on.

James

"I work at the kind of place where if you need something moved a fraction of an inch you tell a guy to move it a cunt hair."

May not be funny to anyone else (as I'm sure the usual bitches will chime in) but it had me laughing so hard I spit diet coke out and prompted me to find this image:
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d6...llX/hair-1.jpg

(252):
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

You work at the Department of Redundancy Department, huh?

:nee:

Just watched some the other day and laughed my ass off. What's your point? :D

You also caught that, too? :D

LOL. Fucker. I was typing at the hospital and lost my train of thought. LOL.

James

:lmao:

Yup and every time a comedian says, "true story", its true.

Like I said, I know a lot of these aren't true, and don't give a rat's ass. Same as I am with comedians. If the shit is funny, it's funny, whether it's true or not.

...




redflip

No, what's your point? I'm bored. :D

Me three. Deciding on if I should push or not. I'm afraid the aftermath will be a shart.

:lol: I almost sharted today. Thank god I wasn't sure if I had to shit or not so I sat on the can to let it loose.

There is nothing more disappointing than when you sit down for a good shit and only fart then you are stuck sitting down pissing like a girl.

lmao thnks

(601): having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things

(443): hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?

:lol

(262):

Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

James