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Old 03-24-2009, 02:04 AM   #1
HurricaneHeather
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Default How long will this last?

Okay, I have always been a very uptight individual. I will admit it, because I'm okay with it. I'm picky and demanding and if I want something a certain way I will let you know....and I almost always want everything done a certain way.

My family and friends are used to this. When I was in the hospital my dad made this comment: Usually when people are in the hospital and they want you to leave the room, they ask you to leave. Heather casts you out!

Again, I've always been this way, that is why my dad can laugh at me about it.

Well, since I got out of the hospital....I just don't care anymore! I am not picky, I don't care when the cats are tearing at the carpet, I haven't made a single list in two weeks(this is most scary) and I have no desire to tell anyone what to do. WTF is the matter with me?!

For instance, we are out of paper towels(something had I been home and healthy I would never let happen) and I couldn't care less. My mom asked me every night while I was at her house what I wanted for dinner and I'd say, 'whatever you want, I'll eat it.' I got my hair cut at a crappy little place in the small town my folks live in. The girl really did a crappy job, but I don't care. And I have no desire to correct people....the nurse asked me, 'are daisies your favorite flower?' God, no they aren't, but I just said 'yes.'

What is going on with me?!?!?! Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying this carefree-ness, but it's just strange. I never 'don't care' I ALWAYS care!

I am just curious how long this will last. Maybe until I am more independent again? When I have the ability to go to the store and buy paper towels before we run out?

And is this what it feels like to be normal?
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Old 03-24-2009, 02:17 AM   #2
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yes very normal, it's called apathy. But everyone has their quirks. I'm the same way about paper towels, i use them for everything, and I need them I buy them by the crate.

Are you on any meds because they would make you all loopy. Once the meds are done you will be normal.

If no meds, maybe you are just bummed out or whatever, either it will work its way out of your system or it will stay either way i would make the cats stop tearing shit up, but the other stuff, in the grand scheme of things who cares.

oh yeh and you shoot shoot the bitch who cut your hair if she messed up.
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Old 03-24-2009, 03:03 AM   #3
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It's been 18 months since my wreck, and I'm the same way. Things I used to get all wound up about just don't seem as important any more. I appreciate the ability to form sentences, hold a job, and hold the ones I love more than if the carpet is clean and the dishes are done.
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Old 03-24-2009, 03:14 AM   #4
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man i love me some apathy
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Old 03-24-2009, 08:21 AM   #5
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Could be a little PTSD too

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Old 03-24-2009, 08:29 AM   #6
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Drugs. Gotta be the drugs.
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Old 03-24-2009, 08:45 AM   #7
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JMHO...I will qualify everything I say here with the following...I am not a professional, I have little formal education in psych,: I am just an olde guye who's been around the block.....


That being said: How long do you want this "stage" to last? I have found that we do things for a reason. As long as you aren't under the influence of pain meds, there is a pretty good chance that you are normal.

Life changing events are just that: life changing. There's nothing like confronting your own mortality to put a new perspective on things, and there's nothing like being plowed under by 4000 lbs of steel to be classified as "life changing".

I don't know you, but in my experience, surviving things like this can make us better people....mebbe give us more empathy for others, as well as shake up long-held beliefs.....in both ourselves and in what is REALLY important:
Family, relationships, basic principles (truth, justice and the American way) , that make the minor stuff seem more like just what it is...minor.

Some of this feeling will fade over time, but there is a pretty good chance that you will discover more of what is really important to you........



.....but then, what do I know?
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Old 03-24-2009, 10:20 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneHeather View Post
When I was in the hospital my dad made this comment: Usually when people are in the hospital and they want you to leave the room, they ask you to leave. Heather casts you out!
You were in the hospital? Recently? Have I been away from the forum THAT long? Are you ok????
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Old 03-24-2009, 10:22 AM   #9
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Just found your thread in the Femmes forum. Reading now.
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Old 03-24-2009, 10:54 AM   #10
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Really, I think a biiiiiiig factor is the pain meds. Opiates work on your emotions the same way they do pain - the feeling is still vaguely there, you just don't care.
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