Go Back   Two Wheel Fix > General > Off Topic

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-11-2009, 12:46 AM   #1
askmrjesus
Soul Man
 
askmrjesus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Everywhere, all the time.
Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit).
Posts: 6,481
Default Second Hand Smoke

I went down to my local "Bike Night" last night. It's not your typical squids on GXSR's trying to pick up Hooters waitresses bike night, more of a bunch of old dudes on vintage bikes and dual sports kind of a thing. Weird crowd. Interesting mix.

We meet up at a micro brewery in the seedy part of town. Nothing fancy. Good beer, pretzels with stone ground mustard, ugly women. The bar is in a converted industrial building, with a big roll up door at the front. In the summer they leave the door open, so you can gaze out at the landscape of weed encrusted pavement, and the peeling paint of the abandoned building across the street. I like it there.

I'm having a beer and a smoke with a few of my riding buds out on the sidewalk, when a dude I've seen around a few times come out of the bar, and jumps on a semi-kinda almost street-legal KTM two-stroke, that's parked in front of the big roll up door. He fires the thing up about 6 feet from a table of non-descript khaki wearing tourists, and proceeds to wring the fucking shit out it.

At first I'm thinking, Ok, you made your point, time to move along. But no, Mr. Blipie isn't done yet. He keeps whacking the throttle like he's expecting fucking nickles to come out the back end. He's pumped enough smoke into the bar to hide a goddamn battle ship. The folks inside are starting to get pissed. The chorus of "Hey, Asshole!", is falling on deaf ears. He's oblivious. The bar folk start throwing mustard covered pretzels at him. He has about 5 of them stuck to the back of his jacket, but he's still whacking that damn throttle.

I was just about to say something to him, when the barmaid came out, and yelled "Hey! Dickweed! You're smoking us to death in here!".

His reply?

"I know, it smokes a lot when the choke is on!"

Really?

No shit.

JC
__________________
The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.
askmrjesus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2009, 12:56 AM   #2
karl_1052
sergeant hatred
 
karl_1052's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Ottawa
Moto: The bus
Posts: 2,723
Default

I had the same thing happen to me at a cheesey guido bar on my RD350LC.

I thought it was funny.(it was around 32F that night, so it was really smoking)
__________________
My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
karl_1052 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2009, 01:42 AM   #3
Gas Man
Trip's Assistant
 
Gas Man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Imported from Detroit
Moto: 2009 HD Street Classic
Posts: 12,149
Default

Squids come in all shapes and sizes.

__________________
-Chris



"Why pay somebody else to fuck up your bike?"
Run Amsoil Product
Gas Man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2009, 08:58 AM   #4
Papa_Complex
Nomadic Tribesman
 
Papa_Complex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Brampton, Canada
Moto: '09 ER-6n
Posts: 11,150
Default

OK, so there's a good part of town?
__________________
"Everything's better with pirates." - Lodge, "Dorkness Rising"

http://www.morallyambiguous.net/
Papa_Complex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2009, 09:03 AM   #5
neebelung
Ornery, scandalous & evil
 
neebelung's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Moto: 2004 Scarlet R1
Posts: 5,962
Default



I have to say, he's a dickweed we've all encountered, but your description of it (esp the mustard pretzels sticking to him) had me
neebelung is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2009, 09:19 AM   #6
Apoc
For Science. You Monster.
 
Apoc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Canada
Moto: '08 HD FLSTSB
Posts: 3,546
Default

You've obviously never tried to walk through the parking lot of a snowmobile club to try and get a meal.


Two strokes smoke alot (they burn oil, what do you expect?) and they have to warm up, or the pistons turn into hand grenades. Suck it up buttercup. As a motorcyclist, you should love the smell and the smoke. Poser.

In the winter, if you walk in the garage here, your greeted with a mixed smell of pot smoke and 2-stroke smoke. Its like a gourmet meal for your nose.
Apoc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2009, 09:26 AM   #7
Papa_Complex
Nomadic Tribesman
 
Papa_Complex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Brampton, Canada
Moto: '09 ER-6n
Posts: 11,150
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apoc View Post
You've obviously never tried to walk through the parking lot of a snowmobile club to try and get a meal.


Two strokes smoke alot (they burn oil, what do you expect?) and they have to warm up, or the pistons turn into hand grenades. Suck it up buttercup. As a motorcyclist, you should love the smell and the smoke. Poser.

In the winter, if you walk in the garage here, your greeted with a mixed smell of pot smoke and 2-stroke smoke. Its like a gourmet meal for your nose.
I'm guessing that not many snowmobilers have the opportunity to point their machines into the propped open door of a bar.
__________________
"Everything's better with pirates." - Lodge, "Dorkness Rising"

http://www.morallyambiguous.net/
Papa_Complex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2009, 09:31 AM   #8
Apoc
For Science. You Monster.
 
Apoc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Canada
Moto: '08 HD FLSTSB
Posts: 3,546
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Papa_Complex View Post
I'm guessing that not many snowmobilers have the opportunity to point their machines into the propped open door of a bar.
I said like it!
Apoc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2009, 09:38 AM   #9
askmrjesus
Soul Man
 
askmrjesus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Everywhere, all the time.
Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit).
Posts: 6,481
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apoc View Post
You've obviously never tried to walk through the parking lot of a snowmobile club to try and get a meal.
I'll put that on my "To Do" list. Should fit in nicely between freezing to death, and donating a kidney.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Apoc View Post
Two strokes smoke alot (they burn oil, what do you expect?) and they have to warm up, or the pistons turn into hand grenades. Suck it up buttercup. As a motorcyclist, you should love the smell and the smoke. Poser.
It's a question of manners. There's a difference between the sweet smell of Castor beans in the air, and being trapped in a giant bong.

Is it just me, or did a guy with a Harley just call me a poser?

JC
__________________
The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.
askmrjesus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2009, 09:42 AM   #10
Apoc
For Science. You Monster.
 
Apoc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Canada
Moto: '08 HD FLSTSB
Posts: 3,546
Default

I ride my Harley, I dont hang out at bike nights
Apoc is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:49 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.