What a Dick

[cuttle]

http://www.theweeklyvice.com/2008/12...s-88-year.html

Portland, Oregon (The Weekly Vice) Michael G. Dick, a Gresham, Oregon man was arrested Tuesday morning after allegedly entering the home of an 88-year-old woman in the nude, only to get a groin crushing surprise.

According to Multnomah County deputies, Dick (yes, that's his real name) entered the home an 88-year-old woman through a sliding door. He then confronted the woman, who was still in her bathrobe, while he himself was completely naked.

Investigators say the man backed the woman up into her living room and then pushed her, face down, into a chair.

"Before whatever plans the suspect might have had, the woman reached behind her and grabbed the man by the crotch, giving him a good squeeze," said deputy Paul H. McRedmond of the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office.