A funny (not "ha ha") thing happened on our group ride today....

neebelung · 11-28-2008, 07:05 PM

Here's a nifty little story with a moral:

So we had a nice group ride planned today. Posted it (as usual) on the local board. Went to the appointed meet spot, where a few people were already waiting. Noticed a new face/bike in the crowd... asked around, no one knew him. Seemed... .well... a bit sketchy, but

(I think it was the Italian Pimp Shoes, and the ticky-tacky paint job, but I digress).

I asked him how he learned about the ride. He said he was at Cycle Gear, and someone mentioned to him there was a group of people meeting for a ride, and told him when/where to go. Hmm, okay... well, we'll give him a chance. We're cautious, but not total snobs.

We have a pre-ride meeting, go over hand signals, staggered riding formation, etc... (we had a couple other new faces with us today, some friends of friends kinda thing). We capped off the pre-ride meeting with "In short, just don't ride like an asshole, ok?"

We head out, on a big 4 lane divided parkway, and just in the first couple of miles, Mr. Pimp Shoes is... well.. riding like an asshole. A MAJOR asshole. Just completely unsafe, and no regard for anyone else around him. I'm way back in the herd (near PhiSig) and we're both shaking our heads goin' "Uh uh...." I've already got it in my head I'm going to tell this guy to head out, that he can't ride with us (something we've never, ever done before on a group ride). But then lo and behold, we come to an intersection, and he darts out of the group, cuts off some traffic and leaves. YAYYYYYYYYY!!! (we literally clapped in excitement).

We head up the highway a bit, then stop to meet up with another group of friends for the ride. As we're standing there, telling our friends about this asshat that we 'lost,' here he comes, zipping into the gas station.

Oh no, no fucking way. We discuss it briefly, and decide we're just going to tell him I'm sorry, you can't ride with us.

I volunteer to be the asshole (it's a role I play quite well), and I go tell him just that -- Hey, we've decided as a group that you can't ride with us, you're unsafe, and you're a danger to the whole group. He starts to say something about his two other friends (both in Italian Pimp Shoes as well) that have come to meet him, but I stopped him and just said "There's no buts... you're not riding with us. Thank you." And I walked away.

I kinda felt like a major bitch, for about 2 minutes, until he and his friends SCREAMED outta the gas station (Asshat #1 literally coming within inches of hitting a car head on), revving up their bikes, and making a scene as they left. It was almost like a little temper tantrum on two wheels.

About 10 minutes later, we head out and get on the road. We're on a 2 lane road, surrounded largely by water, with some gentle sweeping curves, but nothing super sharp or technical. We're in a straightaway, and we see two bikes parked in the grass on the right hand side... and the shoulder is littered with pieces of red plastic. Hmm.. .then on the left we see the three guys walking along the opposite shoulder, and Asshat #1's bike parked (front end completely a mess) in the grass. No other vehicles were around, but the rider was up and walking around, seemingly unhurt.

Around the next bend, we get stopped for a drawbridge, so we all park. Everyone was kinda shaking their heads, laughing at the irony of it (thinking this guy probably went spouting off to his friends "These guys say I'm unsafe... they won't let me ride with them. Dude, I'm not unsafe!!"... and then this happens).

All I can say is, I'm glad we made the decision to not allow him to ride with us, because with the size of group we had today, the end result could have been much worse if he continued to ride like an asshole, and caused other riders to go down as well.

11-28-2008, 07:05 PM	#1
neebelung Ornery, scandalous & evil Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Jacksonville, FL Moto: 2004 Scarlet R1 Posts: 5,962	A funny (not "ha ha") thing happened on our group ride today.... Here's a nifty little story with a moral: So we had a nice group ride planned today. Posted it (as usual) on the local board. Went to the appointed meet spot, where a few people were already waiting. Noticed a new face/bike in the crowd... asked around, no one knew him. Seemed... .well... a bit sketchy, but (I think it was the Italian Pimp Shoes, and the ticky-tacky paint job, but I digress). I asked him how he learned about the ride. He said he was at Cycle Gear, and someone mentioned to him there was a group of people meeting for a ride, and told him when/where to go. Hmm, okay... well, we'll give him a chance. We're cautious, but not total snobs. We have a pre-ride meeting, go over hand signals, staggered riding formation, etc... (we had a couple other new faces with us today, some friends of friends kinda thing). We capped off the pre-ride meeting with "In short, just don't ride like an asshole, ok?" We head out, on a big 4 lane divided parkway, and just in the first couple of miles, Mr. Pimp Shoes is... well.. riding like an asshole. A MAJOR asshole. Just completely unsafe, and no regard for anyone else around him. I'm way back in the herd (near PhiSig) and we're both shaking our heads goin' "Uh uh...." I've already got it in my head I'm going to tell this guy to head out, that he can't ride with us (something we've never, ever done before on a group ride). But then lo and behold, we come to an intersection, and he darts out of the group, cuts off some traffic and leaves. YAYYYYYYYYY!!! (we literally clapped in excitement). We head up the highway a bit, then stop to meet up with another group of friends for the ride. As we're standing there, telling our friends about this asshat that we 'lost,' here he comes, zipping into the gas station. Oh no, no fucking way. We discuss it briefly, and decide we're just going to tell him I'm sorry, you can't ride with us. I volunteer to be the asshole (it's a role I play quite well), and I go tell him just that -- Hey, we've decided as a group that you can't ride with us, you're unsafe, and you're a danger to the whole group. He starts to say something about his two other friends (both in Italian Pimp Shoes as well) that have come to meet him, but I stopped him and just said "There's no buts... you're not riding with us. Thank you." And I walked away. I kinda felt like a major bitch, for about 2 minutes, until he and his friends SCREAMED outta the gas station (Asshat #1 literally coming within inches of hitting a car head on), revving up their bikes, and making a scene as they left. It was almost like a little temper tantrum on two wheels. About 10 minutes later, we head out and get on the road. We're on a 2 lane road, surrounded largely by water, with some gentle sweeping curves, but nothing super sharp or technical. We're in a straightaway, and we see two bikes parked in the grass on the right hand side... and the shoulder is littered with pieces of red plastic. Hmm.. .then on the left we see the three guys walking along the opposite shoulder, and Asshat #1's bike parked (front end completely a mess) in the grass. No other vehicles were around, but the rider was up and walking around, seemingly unhurt. Around the next bend, we get stopped for a drawbridge, so we all park. Everyone was kinda shaking their heads, laughing at the irony of it (thinking this guy probably went spouting off to his friends "These guys say I'm unsafe... they won't let me ride with them. Dude, I'm not unsafe!!"... and then this happens). All I can say is, I'm glad we made the decision to not allow him to ride with us, because with the size of group we had today, the end result could have been much worse if he continued to ride like an asshole, and caused other riders to go down as well.