Letter from the Boss

smileyman · 02-25-2009, 03:13 PM

Family medical coverage through my employer costs $430 per month deducted from my pay before taxes. To purchase the same coverage as a private citizen from Blue Cross Blue Shield would cost me $320 per month

Dear employees:

My business started thus:

My father was on the board of directors. He sent me to the best state college and gave me a substantial allowance, after I graduated with my bachelors degree some 8 years after I started, my father got me on with the State as an auditor. I worked there until I had enough experience to claim professional knowledge (until the existing management had been thinned out) and my father nominated me Vice President of operations.

After boning my secretary a couple years and farming out my decisions either to Sr management or my underlings, i became President and CEO. I have a house on the country club and have unethically used my influence to make sure I got the inside deal on everything from investments to services. Now with my poor management and portfolio management times have gotten tough so I am going to ask a little more of each of you.

First in order not to lay anyone off we are going to have to cut salaries. Don't expect a bonus this year or even a cost of living increase. You will have to use your personal vehicle for any bank related travel, reimbursed in due time of course, and your locations postage will have to come out of your funds and be likewise reimbursed. Be prepared to bring your own supplies and it would help a great deal if you bought your own business cards (please get the logo right).

If you have any questions you can reach my assistant directly or wait until I return from the Vegas leg of my Mexico vacation.

I think this is a more likely story...

02-25-2009, 03:13 PM	#36
smileyman White Trash Hero Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NW Arkansas Moto: Buell 1125R Porco Rosso Edition Posts: 4,895	Family medical coverage through my employer costs $430 per month deducted from my pay before taxes. To purchase the same coverage as a private citizen from Blue Cross Blue Shield would cost me $320 per month Dear employees: My business started thus: My father was on the board of directors. He sent me to the best state college and gave me a substantial allowance, after I graduated with my bachelors degree some 8 years after I started, my father got me on with the State as an auditor. I worked there until I had enough experience to claim professional knowledge (until the existing management had been thinned out) and my father nominated me Vice President of operations. After boning my secretary a couple years and farming out my decisions either to Sr management or my underlings, i became President and CEO. I have a house on the country club and have unethically used my influence to make sure I got the inside deal on everything from investments to services. Now with my poor management and portfolio management times have gotten tough so I am going to ask a little more of each of you. First in order not to lay anyone off we are going to have to cut salaries. Don't expect a bonus this year or even a cost of living increase. You will have to use your personal vehicle for any bank related travel, reimbursed in due time of course, and your locations postage will have to come out of your funds and be likewise reimbursed. Be prepared to bring your own supplies and it would help a great deal if you bought your own business cards (please get the logo right). If you have any questions you can reach my assistant directly or wait until I return from the Vegas leg of my Mexico vacation. I think this is a more likely story... __________________ Arkriders.com To be the best you must first be willing to risk the worst!