Make this mans dream come true

[derf]

All you drug infested pot heads with no brain cells or will power or ability to make an desicions for yourself, this man needs help convincing his girlfriend he needs to make his house into a bong

Description:
I've made alot of money, legally and otherwise, and now that i'm settling down, there's one dream I desperatly want to fulfill; I want to turn my house into a bong. I think now this maybe feasible, If I waterproof the basement then fill it with water and expand my fireplace so a line goes down to the basment, then up through the chimney. I have enough money to weather seal all the windows and doors, and after the construction it would be simply a matter of breaking up several pounds of marijuana for the toilet sized bowl, or should it be more of a bathtub? We'll see.

My girlfriend is opposed to this idea, because of the obvious illegality, but I am trying to convince her and you that a man's dream is much more valid than drug laws. So if one million of you are willing to pledge, you're support. you'll all be invited to try to clear the house when it's finally lit.