just kinda sux

CasterTroy · 12-09-2009, 03:29 PM

I’m not sure how long it’s supposed to take, or if anyone REALLY ever knows. For those of you who’ve experienced it, this is a plea to help me understand whats “normal” in this situation.

Some of you know what happened back in september, but for those that don’t I lost my best friend on an aggressive ride in the mountains. He overcooked a corner coming off a wheelie and slammed a tree; breaking his neck instantly.

While this, in and of itself, was traumatic enough to give me nightmares on a regular basis….thats not really whats bothering me.

What IS bothering me is the fact that Brian was pretty much my ONLY riding buddy. The ONE person I could call up on any given day and tell him I could ride and he’d be there…..or meet me anywhere and was willing to go any length of ride.

We did Daytona once a year, either the spring or biketoberfest. We rode distance on the BMW’s. We rode aggressively on sportbikes and on motards. We were perfectly matched skill-wise and bitch-wise (meaning neither of us would whine at 600 miles, but at 650 we were BOTH ready to stop for the day)

I don’t like groups (too many clowns and ricky racer wannabes) but I joined a few local group boards in an effort to find local riders.

I found several….but they’re all either kids or tools that; for whatever reason, feel the need to overcompensate for everything and just be total doushebags. I don’t mean to be harsh or an elitist, but no one I’ve met seems to have common sense, or skills or the personality that comes close to being similar to mine.

Now granted…I’m an oddball and the fact that Brian and I were so close in personality and nature, it’s a wonder we crossed paths to begin with…but dang. Surely theres SOMEONE natured somewhat like me out there?!?!?

I did a few track days, and got some time out there railing on the track to help me with the desired SKILL part…but I miss my friend and it’s killing me.

I hate to sound like some whiney bitch , but damn this is rough.

Does it fade?

Am I trying to FORCE something?

WTH?

shmike · 12-09-2009, 03:38 PM

Troy,

I have nothing to offer in the way of advice but I will say this:

You DO NOT sound like a whiny bitch. You have every right to feel the way that you do.

I too am picky about my friends and my riding partners.

I hope you find what you are looking for but it may take time. Maybe a very long time.

Best wishes.

Homeslice · 12-09-2009, 03:53 PM

Probably should hang out at track days and after getting to know people, ask if they ride on the street as well. As far as maturity goes, it's much better odds than people you meet on a forum.

Sean · 12-09-2009, 03:54 PM

I'm kinda going through the same thing right now so I don't really know what to say. Pretty much all my riding buds either bitched out or took off and I've kinda been kicked off our local board, so I'm not sure what to do.

Don't feel bad about having a heart, man. It means you're a better person than many.

the chi · 12-09-2009, 03:59 PM

You arent whining. While not due to the same circumstances as yourself, I too find myself alone in a new place with no riding buddies. I tried the local forum. Like you found, too many crazies, or kids, or those who you cant relate to at all (try being a girl too

).

My only advice is see who you can find at the track, or...get out on your own a little bit and you just might run into one of those crazy dudes like yourself tooling around the back roads...stranger things have happened.

ericr · 12-09-2009, 04:05 PM

Troy, I think the biggest part is you lost that "one" good friend you had that complimented you just right. I'm the same way, I've had very few "true friends" that met all the criteria like you listed there and they are few and far between. You'll find someone to hang with again but it'll probably take some time if you're as picky as I am about who I hang out with regularly.

I wish I could tell you something profound that would really help man, I really do. Hope you find your peace soon, but cherish the memories!

Krabill · 12-09-2009, 04:21 PM

Loosing a friend sucks. Loosing your best friend sucks on a whole other level.

It seems like you are in a hurry to find somebody to fill his shoes. Don't be. You may never find anybody who meshes with your personality the same way and that's okay.

While I hate group rides, I've been on a few and while the group rides themselves were a huge pita, I've walked away with a handful of really good riding buddies.

Particle Man · 12-09-2009, 04:28 PM

Not to sound harsh, but shut up about thinking you're whining. That's total BS dude and you're experienced enough as a rider to know that you should choose your riding partners carefully and that good riding partners don't come along every day. My advice (such as it is) is: Don't force it. Right now you're close enough to what happened to still be wanting the past. Your skills are always changing and at some point you'll discover someone else who rides at your pace and at your skill level.

I wish I could say that stuff like this fades over time - it doesn't fade but it changes...

MILK · 12-09-2009, 05:00 PM

Good friends are hard to find. Having one that was also a riding buddy is something a lot of people never find at all. I agree with others to take your time, you should find someone eventually. I would ride with you but I stopped riding myself.

dReWpY · 12-09-2009, 05:27 PM

i know what you mean, i have "lost" two of my best riding buddies, one moved to FL, the other just moved on, I found myself riding less because i didnt have as much fun by myself, then i got the buell, rode the piss out of it for a month then pretty much parked it for the winter.

want my suggestions, go ride and see if you bump elbows with anyone that has the same riding style, i know thats how i ran into ftbstrd

12-09-2009, 03:29 PM	#1
CasterTroy ................ Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: NC Posts: 3,028	just kinda sux I’m not sure how long it’s supposed to take, or if anyone REALLY ever knows. For those of you who’ve experienced it, this is a plea to help me understand whats “normal” in this situation. Some of you know what happened back in september, but for those that don’t I lost my best friend on an aggressive ride in the mountains. He overcooked a corner coming off a wheelie and slammed a tree; breaking his neck instantly. While this, in and of itself, was traumatic enough to give me nightmares on a regular basis….thats not really whats bothering me. What IS bothering me is the fact that Brian was pretty much my ONLY riding buddy. The ONE person I could call up on any given day and tell him I could ride and he’d be there…..or meet me anywhere and was willing to go any length of ride. We did Daytona once a year, either the spring or biketoberfest. We rode distance on the BMW’s. We rode aggressively on sportbikes and on motards. We were perfectly matched skill-wise and bitch-wise (meaning neither of us would whine at 600 miles, but at 650 we were BOTH ready to stop for the day) I don’t like groups (too many clowns and ricky racer wannabes) but I joined a few local group boards in an effort to find local riders. I found several….but they’re all either kids or tools that; for whatever reason, feel the need to overcompensate for everything and just be total doushebags. I don’t mean to be harsh or an elitist, but no one I’ve met seems to have common sense, or skills or the personality that comes close to being similar to mine. Now granted…I’m an oddball and the fact that Brian and I were so close in personality and nature, it’s a wonder we crossed paths to begin with…but dang. Surely theres SOMEONE natured somewhat like me out there?!?!? I did a few track days, and got some time out there railing on the track to help me with the desired SKILL part…but I miss my friend and it’s killing me. I hate to sound like some whiney bitch , but damn this is rough. Does it fade? Am I trying to FORCE something? WTH? __________________ “Being tolerant does not mean that I share another one’s belief. But it does mean that I acknowledge another one’s right to believe, and obey, his own conscience.” Viktor Frankl

12-09-2009, 03:38 PM	#2
shmike Follower Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 5,549	Troy, I have nothing to offer in the way of advice but I will say this: You DO NOT sound like a whiny bitch. You have every right to feel the way that you do. I too am picky about my friends and my riding partners. I hope you find what you are looking for but it may take time. Maybe a very long time. Best wishes. __________________ Racing For Smiles

12-09-2009, 04:21 PM	#7
Krabill WERA Yellow Plate Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Tulsa, OK Moto: 08 WR250R, 12 XTZ1200 Posts: 558	Loosing a friend sucks. Loosing your best friend sucks on a whole other level. It seems like you are in a hurry to find somebody to fill his shoes. Don't be. You may never find anybody who meshes with your personality the same way and that's okay. While I hate group rides, I've been on a few and while the group rides themselves were a huge pita, I've walked away with a handful of really good riding buddies. __________________ www.wrrdualsport.com www.designatedvaping.com

12-09-2009, 04:28 PM	#8
Particle Man Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central NY Moto: 2003 SV650S Posts: 14,959	Not to sound harsh, but shut up about thinking you're whining. That's total BS dude and you're experienced enough as a rider to know that you should choose your riding partners carefully and that good riding partners don't come along every day. My advice (such as it is) is: Don't force it. Right now you're close enough to what happened to still be wanting the past. Your skills are always changing and at some point you'll discover someone else who rides at your pace and at your skill level. I wish I could say that stuff like this fades over time - it doesn't fade but it changes... __________________ I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.

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12-09-2009, 03:53 PM	#3
Homeslice Elitist Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: SF Bay Area Moto: Gix 750 Posts: 11,351	Probably should hang out at track days and after getting to know people, ask if they ride on the street as well. As far as maturity goes, it's much better odds than people you meet on a forum.

12-09-2009, 03:54 PM	#4
Sean giggity Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: socal Moto: street, sumo & dirty Posts: 1,071	I'm kinda going through the same thing right now so I don't really know what to say. Pretty much all my riding buds either bitched out or took off and I've kinda been kicked off our local board, so I'm not sure what to do. Don't feel bad about having a heart, man. It means you're a better person than many.

12-09-2009, 05:00 PM	#9
MILK The cows want you dead. Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 2,087	Good friends are hard to find. Having one that was also a riding buddy is something a lot of people never find at all. I agree with others to take your time, you should find someone eventually. I would ride with you but I stopped riding myself.