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Old 01-08-2009, 08:12 AM   #171
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For the record, I think preferences about a relationship should be less about what a person has (ink, kids, job, a 1098, etc) and be more about how a person is a human: honest, communicates well, has desires in life that are compatible with yours, etc. Ink, piercings, and anything that's on the outside should be the least of preferences.
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Yeah, what she said.
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Old 01-08-2009, 08:16 AM   #172
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You have a point there and I would even take it a step further. I've spoken to a fair number of women who not only say that they want a guy who is taller than they are, they actually say that they want a guy who is at least 6 feet tall. That just strikes me as bizarre, especially when the girl is five-nothing.



Someone being taller than me is pretty much a easy find at my five-nothing (5' 1") height. I find I'm more attracted to tall (6ft. plus) men, especially with dark hair that's at least long enough to brush...bonus if they can put it in a ponytail!....however, my first hubby (the sperm donor) was only 5'7" with long dark hair and the second hubby was 6'2" with light brown, almost blond hair.

We can't help what we're more attracted to, whether they be tall, short, light, dark, big, skinny....but that doesn't mean that's what we may eventually have as a spouse.
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Old 01-08-2009, 08:39 AM   #173
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Wow, Dova. Your thread's theme has now become about tattoos.

Even though I have tats and may or may not *think* his preference(s) may be a little picky, I think we all have our own hidden preferences for any relationship, even friendships. Leave him be about the ink he doesn't care for, or the premade family he doesn't want. He'll either eventually find his perfect mate or 20 years later he'll wonder why he was being so picky. Or maybe not.

For the record, I think preferences about a relationship should be less about what a person has (ink, kids, job, a 1098, etc) and be more about how a person is a human: honest, communicates well, has desires in life that are compatible with yours, etc. Ink, piercings, and anything that's on the outside should be the least of preferences.

And PC, for some reason I thought you were married.
Seems the ink deal is about as contraversial as race anymore..who knew?

It is about the person, I generally gravitate toward women who have ink because of the attitude and out look on life. But Its just something I do not want, maybe it is because most people have them anymore and well I like exotic different items. I know I have missed out on some great women, but I just do not want it in a future wife. I will be friends with them but thats it.
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Old 01-08-2009, 08:43 AM   #174
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I don't see what the problem with 'ink' is. I kinda class it as racist, both my wife and I have many tattoo's and have argued the point with many people over the years, what does the 'colour of my skin' (tats) have to do with who I am or what I am capable of doing?

.DAVID.

Excuse me - do you mind if I ask why you DON'T have any Tattoo's
It has nothing to do with a racist, like I have said I enjoy tattoos its an art form that has progressed to levels that is just insane. But I have made a choice on my wife I do not want her to have them. That does not mean I have a problem with ink, I find them very intresting and enjoy looking at them. But on my wife I do not want her to have any..

I dont have any tattoos because I just dont want them. Why dont you have a bone through your nose? Its just a choice thats all...
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Old 01-08-2009, 08:45 AM   #175
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Someone being taller than me is pretty much a easy find at my five-nothing (5' 1") height. I find I'm more attracted to tall (6ft. plus) men, especially with dark hair that's at least long enough to brush...bonus if they can put it in a ponytail!....however, my first hubby (the sperm donor) was only 5'7" with long dark hair and the second hubby was 6'2" with light brown, almost blond hair.

We can't help what we're more attracted to, whether they be tall, short, light, dark, big, skinny....but that doesn't mean that's what we may eventually have as a spouse.
You... you... you... HEIGHTIST!

I agree that you can't control what you're attracted to, but I see a bit of a difference in the various criteria that people have. You can't choose your height, eye colour, skin colour.... but you CAN choose whether you have piercings and tattoos. For that reason they can be revealing of the person who has them, where real physical characteristics don't reveal anything about what the person is like, inside.

I thought of another thing that puts me off; coloured contacts. A ladyfriend of mine always wished that she'd been born with blue eyes rather than brown. She got herself a set of blue contacts and when she wears them, I just can't look her in the eyes. It's like looking into the eyes of a shark; emotionless.

I've got a friend who is 6'7" tall and I'd introduce you, but he's already been taken by two consecutive southern American girls. Wonder why that is....
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Old 01-08-2009, 09:19 AM   #176
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You... you... you... HEIGHTIST!

I agree that you can't control what you're attracted to, but I see a bit of a difference in the various criteria that people have. You can't choose your height, eye colour, skin colour.... but you CAN choose whether you have piercings and tattoos. For that reason they can be revealing of the person who has them, where real physical characteristics don't reveal anything about what the person is like, inside.

I thought of another thing that puts me off; coloured contacts. A ladyfriend of mine always wished that she'd been born with blue eyes rather than brown. She got herself a set of blue contacts and when she wears them, I just can't look her in the eyes. It's like looking into the eyes of a shark; emotionless.

I've got a friend who is 6'7" tall and I'd introduce you, but he's already been taken by two consecutive southern American girls. Wonder why that is....
For the record, I want you to know I crawled out of my warm cozy bed to get on my PC to reply instead of typing this all out via phone. Feel priviledged

I've attempted to be pretty neutral in this thread because I do think each person has a right to their preference in what they'd like in a mate, from the inside to the out. What one person doesn't like, another will appeciate. I just kind of threw my own throughts into the mesh.

Delving a bit further, how would you feel about meeting someone you are insanely attracted to, both inside and out, only to find out 6 months down the road her eye color is due to contacts, or she has a small tat that's out of sight?

Then you have to ask yourself, just how much of your preferences are you willing to bend the rules on? What are YOU willing to let go of in your own ideals of a perfect mate to have a realistic one?

And thanks, but no thanks on the offer of introducing me to your tall friend, whether he's taken or not. He'd be awesome to have around to reach the things I can't (a damn good reason to have a taller mate ) but I'm not looking. I prefer being single, free in my own right, and out of the bullshit and rat race of looking.
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My knee pads may be Air-Ride and chrome plated but I have standards as to who I use them on.
Quote:
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so you're just a cougar who doesnt hunt.....a domesticated cougar
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Old 01-08-2009, 09:23 AM   #177
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Getting back to the original point of this thread (btw I don't think your preferences, you inkist you, are racist at all!)

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Yes it is just a number, but I am starting to see the fuse burning so to speak, turning 28 only two more years till I am 30. I had always thought I would get married by 30
I think by thinking this way, that you'd do such and such by this age, is setting yourself up for disaster. Among my friends, especially female, I have seen more and more heartbreak because of this thinking.

They say things like "I thought I'd be married by this age." or "I want kids by the time I'm X years old."

Stop living your life by that number and just let it happen.

Truth be told, when I was a kid we used to talk about what would be happening in our lives in the year 2000. I was 24 that year and I always thought I would have finished my undergrad and be just finishing up my graduate degree in Speech Language Pathology. I thought I'd more than likely be married too.

I'm nowhere near those things! Does it mean I don't love the life I have or the choices I've made? Hell no! It just means I took a different road than the one I thought I'd take. We can't predict the future.
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Old 01-08-2009, 09:32 AM   #178
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For the record, I want you to know I crawled out of my warm cozy bed to get on my PC to reply instead of typing this all out via phone. Feel priviledged
I've been at work since 6:15am. Suck it up

Quote:
I've attempted to be pretty neutral in this thread because I do think each person has a right to their preference in what they'd like in a mate, from the inside to the out. What one person doesn't like, another will appeciate. I just kind of threw my own throughts into the mesh.

Delving a bit further, how would you feel about meeting someone you are insanely attracted to, both inside and out, only to find out 6 months down the road her eye color is due to contacts, or she has a small tat that's out of sight?

Then you have to ask yourself, just how much of your preferences are you willing to bend the rules on? What are YOU willing to let go of in your own ideals of a perfect mate to have a realistic one?
I've already said that I've gotten around my preferences on many occasions, so finding out down the line wouldn't be an issue.

Oh, and I haven't been fooled by those stupid coloured contacts yet

Quote:
And thanks, but no thanks on the offer of introducing me to your tall friend, whether he's taken or not. He'd be awesome to have around to reach the things I can't (a damn good reason to have a taller mate ) but I'm not looking. I prefer being single, free in my own right, and out of the bullshit and rat race of looking.
Funny, I feel pretty much the same way
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Old 01-08-2009, 09:37 AM   #179
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I've been at work since 6:15am. Suck it up


Funny, I feel pretty much the same way
I got off work at 5 and it's after 7 now. I've already worked my shift.


I find it amusing that I haven't found alot of people who feel that way. Even the single people I know online are always looking for "the one". Puleeze. Stop looking so hard....they always seem to come around when you don't want them. Then, if you're like me, run in the opposite direction screaming like a little bitch as fast as you can!
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Quote:
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so you're just a cougar who doesnt hunt.....a domesticated cougar
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Old 01-08-2009, 10:05 AM   #180
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Even the single people I know online are always looking for "the one". Puleeze. Stop looking so hard....
Well, ok... but it always sounds so greedy when I say I'm looking for three or four.
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