8th Grade Education

[marko138]

Originally Posted by fpzx10

Hey, PG did make over here

Burn.

[vabarber2]

Originally Posted by marko138

Burn.

but it was a good one!!

[05svr650]

Got me on that one guys....although I am blonde

[Mr Lefty]

Originally Posted by 05svr650

Got me on that one guys....although I am blonde

do you have any idea who PG is? if so you'd be burn'n his house down...


he even has his own smilie

[Trip]

Originally Posted by 05svr650

Got me on that one guys....although I am blonde

Don't worry about it, they are ribbing you about a guy from a previous forum.

[NONE_too_SOFT]

Originally Posted by Rider

No shit, we are all dumb asses compared to back then..

im not so sure about that. i honestly dont believe that shit would pass for a test in the early 1900's.

it just doesnt make sense.


it just doesnt make sense ya'll.


we've got the internetz now.

Originally Posted by Trip

Don't worry about it, they are ribbing you about a guy from a previous forum.

yea a total douche.

[Mule]

in the Slingblade voice, "i sure do like riding my motorbike....mmmmhmmm!"

[OneSickPsycho]

Originally Posted by Rider

8th Grade Exam from 1895


Grammar (Time, one hour)





1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.

Proper nouns, beginning of sentence, words in a title, acronyms, 'I' (pronoun?), first word of a quote, people titles (Mr. Mrs. Miss. etc), screaming on an internet forum

2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.

verb, noun, adjective, adverb, pronoun, preposition, conjunction... and I think there's one more... I have no idea about modifications whatever the fuck that means...

3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph

verse is like poetry and shit... stanza is that funny guy from Seinfeld... paragraph is a collection of sentences that form a thought...

4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of "lie", "play," and "run"

Their tenses I think... lie, lied, lying... play, played, playing... run, ran, running

5. Define case; illustrate each case.

It's a box like thing that you carry shit around in... like so:


Also, killer tractors.

6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.

Punctuation is how you separate shit when writing.
. - period - ends a sentence, complete thought... also used to demonstrate an abreviation
, - comma - separates thoughts that are common (ie. lists)...
; - semi-colon - sorta like a comma on steroids... negates the need for a joining word (conjunction)
: - colon - similar to semi-colon, but better... used for long lists and shit
- - hyphen - used to separate shit, mostly single words that are said together, but if put together don't make other words
() - parentheses - means you're thinking, or should be thinking it
[] - parentheses for dudes with shitty art skills
{} - who knows what the fuck these things are
? - question mark - means a question.. duh
! - exclamation point - means exicted, loud, or PISSED.
' - apostrophe - indicates a missing letter like in conjunctions and shit
" - quotes - means you're quoting
~ - tilda - means you speak spanish

7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

What sort of stupid as bullshit is this fucking question? I went through elementary school, middle school, high school, and even college without having to know half of this shit. I write better than 99% of the people I come into contact with; they're all fucking idiots. I lost count about five words ago so I give up (I'm going to go jerk off now)!

Arithmetic (Time,1 hour 15 minutes)





1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.

Add - putting quantities together to get one collective count
Subtract - the difference between to variables
Mutiply - addition via repeating a number over and over again
Divide - showing how many of one number can 'fit' into another

2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?

Now that's just retarded...

3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs. for tare?

is tare?

4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?

is a valuation and incidentals?

5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.

6720/2000 = 3.36... 3.36x$6= $20.16

6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.

258 days / 365 days = .7068something.... 512.6x.07 = 35.882... 35.882x.7068 = $25.36... final answer... (my brain hurts now)...

7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per metre?

Oh yeah, I got the meter to feet conversion stuck in my head... In yards however...
12x16 = 192... 192x40 = 7680... 7680/12 = 640... 640/3= 213.333333333etc... 213.33x20= $426.67... that was much less painful than the interest one...


8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.

Not exactly sure what the bank discount is, but we'll try it... 365/90 = 4.0555555etc... .10/4.056 = .02465... .02465x300 = $7.40... wow, this really isn't fun any more...

9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?

WTF is a rod?

10. Write a Bank C heck, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.

Fuck that shit... I can do it, but my brain is toast from all those decimals...



U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)



1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.

ummm... discover, independence, civil war, and modern?

2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.

Columbus was a pimp. Dude wanted to show all the ladies that he knew his shit and the world was round... Since getting to the Indies was like all the way around Africa and shit, he wanted to prove there was a shorter route. So he went to the daddy-mack Italian (king?) and got 'request denied'... Finally the slut queen of Spain who C-bus had been laying pipe to (allegedly) agreed to fund the mission. C-bus packed his shit and headed west... He hit the coast of the America's in 1492 and saw all the native americans lookin' like puss-monkeys with their loin cloths and shit... So he immediately brought malaria and a bunch of white people to kill them all off. Now we eat turkeys on Thanksgiving in their honor.

3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.

The king of England was an asshole so we bitched slapped him.

4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.

Started in the east and headed west killing all the natives that stood in our way... we stole shit gangsta style.

5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.

I'm pretty sure it sucks and involves a stupid fucking dog named Toto.

6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.

Gettysburg is one of them... I think...

7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?

Morse - Telegraph dude... Pimp as motherfucker...
Whitney - Cottin gin guy... put slaves out of work...
Fulton - steam engine guy... don't think he invented it, but his were pimp as fuck...
Bell - theiving motherfucker that supposedly invented the telephone
Lincoln - revered and loved now, but quite possibly the worst president of all time...
Penn - I have no idea who this jackass was...
Howe - invented the typwriter or something...

8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.

1607 - Jamestown rave - free drugs for all...
1620 - Plymoth rock pilgram orgy...
1800 - partying like it's 1799 was OVER.
1849 - gold rush pimpin'... gettin' some gold fronts to match my gold wagon spinnahz
1865 - end of the civil war...


Orthography (Time, one hour)

[Do we even know what this is??]


1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication



2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?

3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals.

4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u.' (HUH?).

5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.

6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.

7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.

8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.

9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane , vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.

10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.





Geography (Time, one hour)





1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?

2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas ?

3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?

4. Describe the mountains of North America.

5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.

6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.

7. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.

8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?

9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.

10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.



Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete.



Gives the saying "he only had an 8th grade education" a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

Ok... I made it that far and want to kill myself now... Took me like an hour and a half, maybe a bit longer... The math section ruined me... way too much calculation... perhaps I should have used the Microsloth calculator... I'm going to go smash my head through a wall now...

[Mr Lefty]

[NONE_too_SOFT]

lol some of your answers are funny.