Have you smacked a child today?

[Kaneman]

All I wanted to do was go out and buy a new couch. Who the fuck lets their kid JUMP on couches and beds in the store? Apparently everyone who shops for furniture with their kid, that's who. Man if my kid did that I'd have to put him up for adoption and kill myself for being a total failure as a human being.

And throwing a fit? WHO THE FUCK LETS THEIR KID THROW A FIT IN THE STORE?!?!? Speak up so that I can make fun of you, because you're a fucking moron. A kid weighs 50-125lbs....and you can't control them? Get out...just get out. I don't mean out of the store, I mean out of Earth...get the fuck out of Earth because you're wasting my oxygen and my water. Just go.

[Papa_Complex]

I'll get right on that. What's the cut-off point? 23? 24?

[AquaPython]

josh, maybe they arent forcing their kids to watch harry and the hendersons enough?

[Kaneman]

Originally Posted by AquaPython

josh, maybe they arent forcing their kids to watch harry and the hendersons enough?

He loved every minute of it!

I made sure to leave before the final scene...letting the boy see me cry over a Sasquatch would completely relieve all the fear I've instilled into him.

[z06boy]

Originally Posted by Kaneman

If not, get to work. The day is young and there are (apparently) many children in serious need of a beatdown.

Sorry, I was reminded of how shitty most kids are during a shopping trip yesterday. So please, as the Christmas season approaches and the stores flood with mindless zombie shoppers, give an unruly child a friendly reminder of how easily someone with 4x their body mass can destroy them.

While you're at it, kick their father in the balls....he's a disgrace to testicles anyway.

Originally Posted by Kaneman

All I wanted to do was go out and buy a new couch. Who the fuck lets their kid JUMP on couches and beds in the store? Apparently everyone who shops for furniture with their kid, that's who. Man if my kid did that I'd have to put him up for adoption and kill myself for being a total failure as a human being.

And throwing a fit? WHO THE FUCK LETS THEIR KID THROW A FIT IN THE STORE?!?!? Speak up so that I can make fun of you, because you're a fucking moron. A kid weighs 50-125lbs....and you can't control them? Get out...just get out. I don't mean out of the store, I mean out of Earth...get the fuck out of Earth because you're wasting my oxygen and my water. Just go.

Originally Posted by Kaneman

I was in Braums the other day picking up some Milk and some BAREFOOT screaming 5 year old boy comes running up behind me and slaps me on the back. First of all, put some fucking shoes on....holy shit they make and sell food in here, you fucking ignorant redneck asshole.

Secondly, if you hit me again I'm literally going to choke you until you pass out....and I'm not going to set you down gently either.

Self defense motherfucker.

Originally Posted by Kaneman

I bet if you punch her square in the back of her skull she'll cut that shit out.

You know where a lot of parents fuck up? The warning. Never, ever give a warning. You tell kid to do something, kid doesn't do it, BAM!! POW!!! WAMMO!!!

The only time a child would talk back or disobey to your face would be if they were trying to commit suicide by parent.

Originally Posted by Kaneman

I made sure to leave before the final scene...letting the boy see me cry over a Sasquatch would completely relieve all the fear I've instilled into him.

[Particle Man]

Originally Posted by Kaneman

He loved every minute of it!

I made sure to leave before the final scene...letting the boy see me cry over a Sasquatch would completely relieve all the fear I've instilled into him.