I met a great woman at the bar... - Page 4

marko138 · 03-22-2008, 11:15 PM

We don't judge.

NONE_too_SOFT · 03-22-2008, 11:31 PM

so i go up to cleveland one night. i'd been drinking and wanted some tail... thank you alexander grahm bell for inadvertently inventing text messages. So i get to the bar. this "bar" that she supposedly "promotes". yea i told you she is a dominatrix, right? i dont know what the fuck that entails, i never asked, and when she began to explain it to me i told her i didnt want to know. she's not a prostitute cause she never actually fucks anybody, just whips them and shit. okay. whatever. still too much info.

So i get to the bar, and theres this guy. Hes a guy from the forums supposedly who's also trying to hit on her. I've pregamed on the drive up to the bar, and am buzzing a bit, so i could care less. Theres also this other guy shes with. the most pathetic person i've ever met in my life... we'll call him ted.

Ted i met the night i first met RRH. He drove her down to my property where i was having a bonfire to see me...

Yes , HE drove HER to see another guy. ME. a guy thats 10 years younger. Granted this guy is her age, and supposedly hangs out with her all the time. why HE isnt fucking her i dont know. we'll get to that.

So anyways me, ted, RRH, and douchnozzle are at the bar. Douchnozzle is obviously trying to get with RRH and its hilarious because she has no interest in him. He's a douchnozzle. So im drinking my guiness (that tastes like shit, this fucking bar was attatched to some hotel or some shit... but it was an actual bar, i could never figure it out) and getting drunk.

so i tell ted "lets play pool ted".

We play pool.

He sucks. I win. Our conversation is minimal. This guy is the most timid, insecure, pushover in the fucking world. i kid you not. It was a one sided conversation the whole way. totally awkward if i had actually cared a rats ass.

anyways, douchnozzle and RRH are talking, whatever. he eventually leaves without saying goodbye, i laugh. I go over and talk with RRH and kind of start checking her out. were getting mushy gooshy. and its time for ted to leave. well ted was RRH's ride. Fuhk if i'm in any shape to leave, but im drunk so i dont make the right call. he leaves we're there practically by ourselves...

The alcohol levels are good, the lighting is minimal, its go time.

We progress to the parking lot where i decide is the best place to fuck at the moment, because i had spotted a desk chair by the side of the building. great! cept it breaks. fuck. now were half naked in a parking lot and suddenly paranoia sets in.

So i tell her "okay, lets get going"

She decides we'll go fuck in an appartment.
Teds appartment...

Well didnt ted just go home" i say. "yea its okay, we're friends like that "...

Okay whatever i could care less at this point.

I drive like a thousand fucking miles around cleveland to this guys house. We get out, go upstairs, and theres ted. playing world or warcraft or downloading bruce sprinstein songs or something. who knows... I give him the cordial "hey whats up its me again"... Then we go back to this empty room with a bean bag chair in it... yea. no idle chit chat. no "hey can we use a room"

This is this chumps one bedroom apt, and i am about to go fuck the girl he wishes he was fucking in his room. OMG my mind was running in circles.

beer break.

god damn this story is pretty long and played out, and the funny thing is im not even getting into any detail. If anybody has anything to say about grammar or spelling, fuck off. i typed this bitch at like 80wpm, thats secretary of the state condoleza rice style bitches... back to the story

Well we do the deed and try to find our clothes. its just the typical "well that was sex, congradulations" post game type thing. i was mad because i couldnt believe i drove all the way up there for that lame sex and a handful of awkward moments, but the best is still to come. i still have to LEAVE this guys house.

Well i decide to stop playing the fool, and i just walk from his room to the door, giving him a nod on the way out.

By far, the most sureal moments of my life. i didnt know if this guy was waiting for me with a machete or what, or maybe he was really just this lame?

i couldnt figure it out, and never saw him again...

Mr Lefty · 03-22-2008, 11:37 PM

FUCKING AWESOME

NONE_too_SOFT · 03-22-2008, 11:40 PM

ask me about some of the others stories at indy, ebbs, i'll get you rolling.

Mr Lefty · 03-22-2008, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NONE_too_SOFT

ask me about some of the others stories at indy, ebbs, i'll get you rolling.

oh most defiantly!

VatorMan · 03-22-2008, 11:47 PM

excellent. I miss those days when I could just run out and throw a fuck.

NONE_too_SOFT · 03-22-2008, 11:48 PM

eh its gotten old for me. sex is still great, but theres no substance to it.

I've got a wonderful prospect on the horizon though.

VatorMan · 03-22-2008, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NONE_too_SOFT

eh its gotten old for me. sex is still great, but theres no substance to it.

I've got a wonderful prospect on the horizon though.

Make sure you've gotten it out of your system before you commit.

Mr Lefty · 03-22-2008, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NONE_too_SOFT

eh its gotten old for me. sex is still great, but theres no substance to it.

I've got a wonderful prospect on the horizon though.

Werd! good luck with that...

marko138 · 03-22-2008, 11:58 PM

Nice job. More stories.

03-22-2008, 11:31 PM	#32
NONE_too_SOFT Chopstix / \ Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Akron OH Moto: 03 CBR RR Posts: 5,350	so i go up to cleveland one night. i'd been drinking and wanted some tail... thank you alexander grahm bell for inadvertently inventing text messages. So i get to the bar. this "bar" that she supposedly "promotes". yea i told you she is a dominatrix, right? i dont know what the fuck that entails, i never asked, and when she began to explain it to me i told her i didnt want to know. she's not a prostitute cause she never actually fucks anybody, just whips them and shit. okay. whatever. still too much info. So i get to the bar, and theres this guy. Hes a guy from the forums supposedly who's also trying to hit on her. I've pregamed on the drive up to the bar, and am buzzing a bit, so i could care less. Theres also this other guy shes with. the most pathetic person i've ever met in my life... we'll call him ted. Ted i met the night i first met RRH. He drove her down to my property where i was having a bonfire to see me... Yes , HE drove HER to see another guy. ME. a guy thats 10 years younger. Granted this guy is her age, and supposedly hangs out with her all the time. why HE isnt fucking her i dont know. we'll get to that. So anyways me, ted, RRH, and douchnozzle are at the bar. Douchnozzle is obviously trying to get with RRH and its hilarious because she has no interest in him. He's a douchnozzle. So im drinking my guiness (that tastes like shit, this fucking bar was attatched to some hotel or some shit... but it was an actual bar, i could never figure it out) and getting drunk. so i tell ted "lets play pool ted". We play pool. He sucks. I win. Our conversation is minimal. This guy is the most timid, insecure, pushover in the fucking world. i kid you not. It was a one sided conversation the whole way. totally awkward if i had actually cared a rats ass. anyways, douchnozzle and RRH are talking, whatever. he eventually leaves without saying goodbye, i laugh. I go over and talk with RRH and kind of start checking her out. were getting mushy gooshy. and its time for ted to leave. well ted was RRH's ride. Fuhk if i'm in any shape to leave, but im drunk so i dont make the right call. he leaves we're there practically by ourselves... The alcohol levels are good, the lighting is minimal, its go time. We progress to the parking lot where i decide is the best place to fuck at the moment, because i had spotted a desk chair by the side of the building. great! cept it breaks. fuck. now were half naked in a parking lot and suddenly paranoia sets in. So i tell her "okay, lets get going" She decides we'll go fuck in an appartment. Teds appartment... Well didnt ted just go home" i say. "yea its okay, we're friends like that "... Okay whatever i could care less at this point. I drive like a thousand fucking miles around cleveland to this guys house. We get out, go upstairs, and theres ted. playing world or warcraft or downloading bruce sprinstein songs or something. who knows... I give him the cordial "hey whats up its me again"... Then we go back to this empty room with a bean bag chair in it... yea. no idle chit chat. no "hey can we use a room" This is this chumps one bedroom apt, and i am about to go fuck the girl he wishes he was fucking in his room. OMG my mind was running in circles. beer break. god damn this story is pretty long and played out, and the funny thing is im not even getting into any detail. If anybody has anything to say about grammar or spelling, fuck off. i typed this bitch at like 80wpm, thats secretary of the state condoleza rice style bitches... back to the story Well we do the deed and try to find our clothes. its just the typical "well that was sex, congradulations" post game type thing. i was mad because i couldnt believe i drove all the way up there for that lame sex and a handful of awkward moments, but the best is still to come. i still have to LEAVE this guys house. Well i decide to stop playing the fool, and i just walk from his room to the door, giving him a nod on the way out. By far, the most sureal moments of my life. i didnt know if this guy was waiting for me with a machete or what, or maybe he was really just this lame? i couldnt figure it out, and never saw him again...

03-22-2008, 11:37 PM	#33
Mr Lefty TWFix Legend Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Denver CO Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar Posts: 15,677	FUCKING AWESOME

03-22-2008, 11:40 PM	#34
NONE_too_SOFT Chopstix / \ Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Akron OH Moto: 03 CBR RR Posts: 5,350	ask me about some of the others stories at indy, ebbs, i'll get you rolling.

03-22-2008, 11:47 PM	#36
VatorMan Wrap Yo Ass in Fiberglass Join Date: Feb 2008 Moto: Feet Posts: 1,605	excellent. I miss those days when I could just run out and throw a fuck.

03-22-2008, 11:48 PM	#37
NONE_too_SOFT Chopstix / \ Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Akron OH Moto: 03 CBR RR Posts: 5,350	eh its gotten old for me. sex is still great, but theres no substance to it. I've got a wonderful prospect on the horizon though.