WTF---Never again... - Page 5

Amber Lamps · 12-23-2009, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTB

I never said "Do nothing". Forgiveness is an action. It requires thought, and depending on your proclivities, maybe some prayer, too.

Doing nothing, saying nothing while still harboring ill feelings is as toxic as you say, just putting off the inevitable blow up.

Forgiveness is for MY benefit...not the person I've believed has done me wrong......

By the same token, if I have a friend who constantly does things that injure me in some manner, or who is consistently thoughtless, perhaps I need to examine why I'm friends with that person....I am not a saint, and there are toxic people that I don't need to be around.......

Yep, I said "do nothing" other than repair your bike. I don't want you to "harbor ill feelings" nor do I want you to "forgive her"... I want you to cut your losses, learn a lesson and move on. No matter how you handle this situation, this girl is going to think you're a bitch, trust me. She may apologize to your face but she will bad mouth you to your back. She obviously doesn't care about you or your stuff and she's NOT going to have some kind of epiphany because you talked to her.

I doubt that this is the first time she's done something like this to someone. My God, she so much as told you that she abused your property, "I threw it in the back of a truck" and she brought it back filthy when it left clean. She already knows the bike's condition and didn't care enough to rectify it or apologize up front.

I doubt this friendship is going anywhere, anyway... let it go. IMHO the only way that I would "forgive" her is if she came to me, unprovoked, and apologized and offered to pay for repairs. If you have to coerce her, forget it. She's your SO's friend's girlfriend, be polite but keep your distance. Who needs friends like this?

karl_1052 · 12-23-2009, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TIGGER

Yep, I said "do nothing" other than repair your bike. I don't want you to "harbor ill feelings" nor do I want you to "forgive her"... I want you to cut your losses, learn a lesson and move on. No matter how you handle this situation, this girl is going to think you're a bitch, trust me. She may apologize to your face but she will bad mouth you to your back. She obviously doesn't care about you or your stuff and she's NOT going to have some kind of epiphany because you talked to her.

I doubt that this is the first time she's done something like this to someone. My God, she so much as told you that she abused your property, "I threw it in the back of a truck" and she brought it back filthy when it left clean. She already knows the bike's condition and didn't care enough to rectify it or apologize up front.

I doubt this friendship is going anywhere, anyway... let it go. IMHO the only way that I would "forgive" her is if she came to me, unprovoked, and apologized and offered to pay for repairs. If you have to coerce her, forget it. She's your SO's friend's girlfriend, be polite but keep your distance. Who needs friends like this?

This is the most truth I have seen Tigger write in a long time.
Either she doesn't care about you or what you think, or she just treats everything in her life like crap. Either way, it will be a bad situation.

I still say Shovel to the face.

OTB · 12-23-2009, 09:31 AM

Tigger and I are pretty much on the same page, believe it or not. I've never been able to change anybody in my life....except for me. That's where the forgiveness part comes in...it's for MY benefit, so I don't need to keep reliving the slights over and over.....it's not like I walk up to them and say "I forgive your sorry ass". Nope. It's a deal between me and me to let the whole thing go.

But that doesn't mean I go back for seconds.

Having a resentment is letting somebody live rent-free in your head and turning them loose with a sledgehammer.

But ya still gotta pick yer friends wisely.

Thanks, Tigger and have a Merry Christmas.

Papa_Complex · 12-23-2009, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by neebelung

That obvious?

Actually just one... I think it was "Communicating with Diplomacy & Professionalism." *barf*

Seriously though, it's served me well in dealing with pissy people at work.

I find business communications courses are more useful. They help you to get digs in on multiple levels, while giving the recipient nothing concrete to come back on you with. Passive-aggressiveness for the win.

askmrjesus · 12-23-2009, 09:58 AM

Poke her eyes out with a stick.

You'll feel better, and she'll never borrow anybody's bike again.

You owe it to humanity.

Get video, so we can all ridicule the blind ass bike denting whore.

JC

Cruzergirl · 12-23-2009, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by askmrjesus

Poke her eyes out with a stick.

You'll feel better, and she'll never borrow anybody's bike again.

You owe it to humanity.

Get video, so we can all ridicule the blind ass bike denting whore.

JC

This is why you are who you are. Always putting things in perspective. This is the kind of simple, concise answer I needed.

Now where's my sharp stick.....

Cruzergirl · 12-23-2009, 10:18 AM

I've decided I can't "do nothing". I can't just forgive her and move on. The issue will just fester in my head until it explodes some ten years down the line when I rip off her wedding dress, stuff her face in the cake and scream at her that she doesn't deserve to be happy!
So, doing nothing is out of the question, I haven't evolved to that point yet.

I will talk to her when I go up there next week. Only problem is I tend to be ruled by my emotions so no matter how much I try to be rational and calm I'm afraid I'll, instead, look like a banshee...

So,

, I'll have to work on the approach.

It will also be important for me to keep in mind that as much as I care about/for my stuff (I know its just stuff but its MY stuff) that is how much she doesn't care about it. She takes for granted, because she can, how hard people work for what they have. I'll keep that in mind next time I even think about offering something I care about (that's right, she didn't ask... I offered).

Particle Man · 12-23-2009, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by askmrjesus

Poke her eyes out with a stick.

You'll feel better, and she'll never borrow anybody's bike again.

You owe it to humanity.

Get video, so we can all ridicule the blind ass bike denting whore.

JC

winning answer

marko138 · 12-23-2009, 10:22 AM

My shit is stuff and your stuff is shit.

Particle Man · 12-23-2009, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138

My shit is stuff and your stuff is shit.

Thank you George Carlin

12-23-2009, 09:58 AM	#45
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	Poke her eyes out with a stick. You'll feel better, and she'll never borrow anybody's bike again. You owe it to humanity. Get video, so we can all ridicule the blind ass bike denting whore. JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

12-23-2009, 09:31 AM	#43
OTB The Man Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: CrabTown USA Moto: 00 Bimota DB4 Posts: 823	Tigger and I are pretty much on the same page, believe it or not. I've never been able to change anybody in my life....except for me. That's where the forgiveness part comes in...it's for MY benefit, so I don't need to keep reliving the slights over and over.....it's not like I walk up to them and say "I forgive your sorry ass". Nope. It's a deal between me and me to let the whole thing go. But that doesn't mean I go back for seconds. Having a resentment is letting somebody live rent-free in your head and turning them loose with a sledgehammer. But ya still gotta pick yer friends wisely. Thanks, Tigger and have a Merry Christmas.

12-23-2009, 10:18 AM	#47
Cruzergirl Its a good day. Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Pace, FL Moto: Victory Kingpin Low Posts: 951	I've decided I can't "do nothing". I can't just forgive her and move on. The issue will just fester in my head until it explodes some ten years down the line when I rip off her wedding dress, stuff her face in the cake and scream at her that she doesn't deserve to be happy! So, doing nothing is out of the question, I haven't evolved to that point yet. I will talk to her when I go up there next week. Only problem is I tend to be ruled by my emotions so no matter how much I try to be rational and calm I'm afraid I'll, instead, look like a banshee... So, , I'll have to work on the approach. It will also be important for me to keep in mind that as much as I care about/for my stuff (I know its just stuff but its MY stuff) that is how much she doesn't care about it. She takes for granted, because she can, how hard people work for what they have. I'll keep that in mind next time I even think about offering something I care about (that's right, she didn't ask... I offered).