Go Back   Two Wheel Fix > General > Off Topic

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-18-2009, 02:49 PM   #1
askmrjesus
Soul Man
 
askmrjesus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Everywhere, all the time.
Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit).
Posts: 6,481
Default Anti-German Weasel Spray

It's been a few years since I've been back to Germany. Apparently, since I've been gone, giant, car eating weasels have become quite a problem. So much so, that the plucky Germans have developed a special aerosol spray to keep them at bay:



Armed with my Anti-Giant Weasel spray, I decided to head into town. I'm just not sure if I'm supposed to spray the weasel directly, or just spray some on my jacket, and do my best to pretend that I am not a car. The can offers no instructions in this regard.

Unfortunately, town is surrounded by a giant wall, complete with a moat:



Fucking hell. This weasel problem must be worse than I thought. The wall is adorned with slots, undoubtably so the town's inhabitants can shoot flaming Brautwurst at the marauding weasel intruders. Question is, How the fuck do I get in?

Aha! There's a door:



Considering the giant weasel threat, the door seems rather lacking in the security department. I need a beer to calm my nerves. This weasel thing is freaking me right the fuck out.

I make my way to a safe looking cellar, and have a beer that's made by monks, in a brewery that's been making beer since 1050 (AD). This explains two things; Why the beer is so good, and why there are shitfaced monks all over town.

[URL="


Ok, I'm better now. Nine more of these, and I'm just going to forget about the weasels completely.

Off to the Czech Republic in the morning.

I'm taking the weasel spray, just in case...

JC
__________________
The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.
askmrjesus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 02:51 PM   #2
Archren
Sham WOW
 
Archren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: ATX
Moto: 2007 Ducati 1098
Posts: 2,741
Default

Where are you guys anyay? That looks an awful lot like Amberg... but then there's a lot of places with walls an moats in Germany.

Living vicariously through your beer exploits.

ETA: Apparently the marders don't like American cars.. or maybe they just don't like Oldsmobile flavor.. they never messed with our Bravada in the 2 years we were there.
__________________
Photography

"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time. It was impossible."
- Hunter S. Thompson, Song of the Sausage Creature

"Be who you are and say what you feel
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss
Archren is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 03:24 PM   #3
askmrjesus
Soul Man
 
askmrjesus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Everywhere, all the time.
Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit).
Posts: 6,481
Default

Half way between Nuremberg and Munich, in a town called Weissenburg.

Can't talk now, I'm öff to the the whiskez bar.

JC
__________________
The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.
askmrjesus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 03:35 PM   #4
ericr
I'm so much cooler online
 
ericr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cartersville, GA
Moto: 06 FZ1
Posts: 1,436
Default

Damn! I want to be there again!! Post more pics AMJ, and watch out for the giant weasles.
__________________
Redd: No, Im good, I had some ibufrophen

Eric: ibu what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogue View Post
but I'm perfectly placed when I'm on my knees . . . .
ericr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 03:41 PM   #5
Avatard
Crotch Rocket Curmudgeon
 
Avatard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Here to integrity
Moto: Li'l red baby Ninja
Posts: 7,482
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by askmrjesus View Post
Half way between Nuremberg and Munich, in a town called Weissenburg.
You're in Weissenburg, and you're wondering why there's a weasel threat?



I'd get the fuck outta weasel town.
__________________
Insert free thought here.
Avatard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 04:51 PM   #6
101lifts2
WSB Champion
 
101lifts2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Anaheim, CA
Moto: 2009 Kawi ZX6R
Posts: 5,570
Default

LOL...funny shit as always AMJ
__________________
Train Hard

Ron Paul - 2012

Mark of Excellence
GM
101lifts2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 05:17 PM   #7
Rsv1000R
WERA White Plate
 
Rsv1000R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,059
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Avatard View Post
You're in Weissenburg, and you're wondering why there's a weasel threat?



I'd get the fuck outta weasel town.
That is funny as hell
Rsv1000R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 05:23 PM   #8
Particle Man
Custom User Title
 
Particle Man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central NY
Moto: 2003 SV650S
Posts: 14,959
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Avatard View Post
You're in Weissenburg, and you're wondering why there's a weasel threat?



I'd get the fuck outta weasel town.
well said
__________________
I'm not "fat."
I'm "Enlarged to show texture."


Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.
Particle Man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 09:20 PM   #9
Papa_Complex
Nomadic Tribesman
 
Papa_Complex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Brampton, Canada
Moto: '09 ER-6n
Posts: 11,150
Default

"Note: Marderstop contains 100% synthetic fox urine. Not for topical use."
__________________
"Everything's better with pirates." - Lodge, "Dorkness Rising"

http://www.morallyambiguous.net/
Papa_Complex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 09:24 PM   #10
Adeptus_Minor
Hopster
 
Adeptus_Minor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Austin, TX
Moto: 2009 Buell 1125R
Posts: 4,743
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Papa_Complex View Post
"Note: Marderstop contains 100% synthetic fox urine. Not for topical use."
But it'd be great for keeping juvenile delinquents off your lawn... ask the old guy who put it in a squirt gun.
__________________
“Well, obviously before; after was all gendarmes and dick stitches.”
Adeptus_Minor is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:30 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.