Got an offical notice at work

[VatorMan]

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of
normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received
from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of
being
able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have
been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can

continue in an effective manner.
Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.
Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!
Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.
Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.
Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?
Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources

[racedoll]

These are great. Thank you for sharing.

[Sixxxxer]

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

I Say that ALLLLLLLLLLLLL The Time

[rogue]

[t-homo]

Nice.

[Tsunami]

i need to memorize those and put it into practice. Making snide comments, giving dirty looks and or just plain ignoring people sometimes ends up backfiring.

[marko138]

Awesome.

[the chi]

Im so posting that in my office and telling people to PICK ONE.

[xx CURVE xx]

[smileyman]

I really love it when I have a customer in my office and my auditor friend in the neighboring office doesn't know it. We shout shit back and forth all day, so it is almost 2nd nature to fire one out without looking. Cracks me up!