Make it stop, or I'm going to kill you.

askmrjesus · 02-10-2009, 11:51 PM

"Hi, it's- SHREEKWAHWAHWAHWAHSHREEEEEEK".

Fuck me. It's her again. The customer that calls me to discuss the intricate details of the job I'm doing for her, while her toddler from hell screams into the phone.

The little fucker is like some kind of nuclear powered lamprey with a mega-phone for a head. Every time she calls me, she must have this shrieking banshee vampire attached to her head, because all I can hear is him.

It's driving me crazy.

It's starting to piss me off.

I'm charging her extra.

I'm going to use the extra money to buy a 30.06 and tranq that little bastard with a roofie dart, Mutual of Omaha style. Then I'm going to release him into the wild, so I can have a SIMPLE FUCKING CONVERSATION.

Prick.

Little miniature prick.

Stupid fucking little miniature noisy prick bastard.

I hate him.

Now then, I know you're all wondering what this has to do with the walking styles of Icelandic ponies. I know I am, because I had to stop typing and go watch an Icelandic pony "toelt". According to my wife, who thought it was necessary for me to stop typing so I could come look at an Icelandic pony do something between a trot and a canter, which proves that Icelandic ponies are smarter than other, less ice based ponies.

It is now my fervent wish, that my client's child gets an Icelandic pony for Christmas, and they both fall down a frozen well.

JC

Trip · 02-10-2009, 11:59 PM

this thread is full of awesome

Sixxxxer · 02-11-2009, 12:02 AM

I have NO IDEA What the fuck is going on.

But I cant stop laughing...It must be the way you wrtie things.

Just, Wow

t-homo · 02-11-2009, 12:03 AM

The jesus is hilarious.

Ninjakel · 02-11-2009, 12:04 AM

I love Jeebus

Mr Lefty · 02-11-2009, 12:08 AM

don't fuck with the Jesus

CrazyKell · 02-11-2009, 12:38 AM

It's the TOLT and they're Icelandic Horses not ponies.

But all in all.....this thread is awesome!

Dave · 02-11-2009, 12:41 AM

i cant call you jesus but thats awesome

cuttle · 02-11-2009, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyKell

It's the TOLT and they're Icelandic Horses not ponies.

But all in all.....this thread is awesome!

actually it's "tölt" (ö = oe on an english keyboard)

Sixxxxer · 02-11-2009, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave

i cant call you jesus but thats awesome

You just did...

02-10-2009, 11:51 PM	#1
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	Make it stop, or I'm going to kill you. "Hi, it's- SHREEKWAHWAHWAHWAHSHREEEEEEK". Fuck me. It's her again. The customer that calls me to discuss the intricate details of the job I'm doing for her, while her toddler from hell screams into the phone. The little fucker is like some kind of nuclear powered lamprey with a mega-phone for a head. Every time she calls me, she must have this shrieking banshee vampire attached to her head, because all I can hear is him. It's driving me crazy. It's starting to piss me off. I'm charging her extra. I'm going to use the extra money to buy a 30.06 and tranq that little bastard with a roofie dart, Mutual of Omaha style. Then I'm going to release him into the wild, so I can have a SIMPLE FUCKING CONVERSATION. Prick. Little miniature prick. Stupid fucking little miniature noisy prick bastard. I hate him. Now then, I know you're all wondering what this has to do with the walking styles of Icelandic ponies. I know I am, because I had to stop typing and go watch an Icelandic pony "toelt". According to my wife, who thought it was necessary for me to stop typing so I could come look at an Icelandic pony do something between a trot and a canter, which proves that Icelandic ponies are smarter than other, less ice based ponies. It is now my fervent wish, that my client's child gets an Icelandic pony for Christmas, and they both fall down a frozen well. JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

02-11-2009, 12:02 AM	#3
Sixxxxer Like Gixxxxer But Not Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Dirty Jersey Moto: 2008 ZX6R Posts: 4,891	I have NO IDEA What the fuck is going on. But I cant stop laughing...It must be the way you wrtie things. Just, Wow __________________ [FRSH] Candy Plasma Blue

02-11-2009, 12:04 AM	#5
Ninjakel Post whorette Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: South Florida Moto: 2006 GSXR 600- Posts: 3,992	I love Jeebus __________________ I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker. --Ron Burgundy-- Anchorman

02-11-2009, 12:41 AM	#8
Dave Chaotic Neutral Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Cherry Hill NJ Moto: GV1200 Madura, Hawk gt Posts: 13,992	i cant call you jesus but thats awesome __________________ TWF Post whore #6

02-11-2009, 12:03 AM	#4
t-homo WSB Champion Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Springfield, MO Posts: 7,146	The jesus is hilarious.

02-11-2009, 12:08 AM	#6
Mr Lefty TWFix Legend Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Denver CO Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar Posts: 15,677	don't fuck with the Jesus

02-11-2009, 12:38 AM	#7
CrazyKell Vrooom Join Date: Nov 2008 Moto: 06 ZX6R Posts: 4,427	It's the TOLT and they're Icelandic Horses not ponies. But all in all.....this thread is awesome!