So I'm a terrible person, Part three

[NONE_too_SOFT]

Have you ever been in a hostage situation? Like a hostile takeover? forced to sit quietly until the situation had died down to the point where a resolution can be formed? Ya, me either, until last night.

I was hanging out with a girl i've been seeing for a while now. Hot, skinny little thing. For as much as we had in common, there was a LOT we didnt have in common. For instance, she was crazy and i was sane, or even she was obsessed with me, and i was mildly attracted to her. Now I know there is the age old saying "all girls are crazy", and thats fun to say in its own respect. But i work on a psych ward a lot, and honestly, i thought i was gonna have to take this girl to the ER and have her admitted.

I took her to dinner with my parents and sister (it was her birthday) and all went well. She was drinking and although ran her mouth a little more than i'd prefer, it was an enjoyable time. Mom and dad both said they're glad i brought her. We bid farewell a little early and were gonna go hit up the bar she works at for an hour or so, and this is when i tell her after we go to the bar im gonna drop her off at home and head out so i can get home and have a good nights sleep. Bad move on my part.

For some reason she thought It was my duty to spend the night with her crazy self. She started ranting and raving about "why cant you just like me" and "nobody likes me, i've got nobody looking out for me in this world" ... stuff like that, she's really trying to play the pity card. I take her to her grandparents house, i want to get out of there, she's acting nuts and crying and screaming and I'm left in the drivers seat thinking "I cant believe this girl thinks acting like this is going to make me like her MORE"... we never make it to the bar.

So I get to G-mas and G-pas, they're good people. I pull up on the street and i mention that I'm tired, I want to go home, and we can talk about it in the morning when we're both not so emotional.

fifteen minutes into the hostage situation i dont even realize whats happening. I know she's not getting out of the car right now, but i figure i can calm her down enough to the point that she'll get out.

45 minutes. Okay, this is getting crazy. REAL crazy. She's been ranting and raving about the same thing over and over and over again and not even listening to a word i've said. She just keeps repeating the same damn things. I'm getting frustrated. I begin the silent treatment. I lay back in the driver seat, and try to drone out her crazy rantings. This was like putting gas on the fire.

1 hour into the hostage situation. I decide to threaten her by going and getting her grand parents. its about 930 now and they're probobly on their way to bed, but i get out of the car to go up to the door... She calls my bluff. I'm not trying to bring her nice old grandparents into this mess, they really wont be able to control her more than I can at this point, and G-ma just got a hip replacement. let em be.

So i get back in the car and threaten to call the police. Yea she calls my bluff again. This girl is NOT gonna get out of my car any time soon.

I begin to plea with her, i ask her what i can do, how can i fix it, and she just keeps saying the same old crap she's been spewing out about how i dont like her and nobody likes her and shes going to be alone on thanksgiving (her family is actually having thanksgiving on saturday... she is NOT alone in this world, i've met most of her family). Then i try more scare tactics, as i'm getting ever more enraged by this stupid situation... so I drive. i tell her i'm going home and she can sleep in the car for all i care. But the more i think about this the more i realize i dont want my shit broken, so scratch that plan.

hour and fifteen into "omg crazy bitch wont get out of my car" situation, the girl is getting so pissed she's begun to hit me and thrash around in my car like a raving lunatic. Oh my god i'm starting to get scared. I'm driving down the boulevard at 9:45 and she's hitting me in the ribs and in the face wildly, like a baboon on steroids. I have to try to contain her so i dont wreck, and i grabbed the collar of her jacket and pushed her over away from me so i could pull over and park. The girl is still hitting me and I'm about to blow a gasket.

I pull over into a dimly lit parking lot and she's still trying to hit me. I get out of the car, walk over to the passenger side door fuming, and realize i've made a terrible mistake... she's locked the doors. luckily by habit i've taken the keys out of the ignition and they're in my pocket. I finally get in the passenger side door and the girl is hitting AND kicking me now. Out of pure animal instinct i shield myself and grab her and pull her out of my car. It took everything in the world for me not to hit this girl; i kept reminding myself thats something i'd never do. in the meantime she's still thrashing at me. The adrenaline wears off and i collect my thoughts ands he scrambles back to the car. amazing. So i get back into the vehicle and wait for her to calm down a bit. I'm not talking to her right now. I'm pissed. On the road again, back to grandmas house.

Hour and a half into operation get the fuck out of my car, and im livid. I'm done trying to be the nice guy, trying to coax her into calming down. I've hugged her, rubbed her back, told her everything i could think of to calm her down. Here comes the nasty truth. I tell her every mean little thing i could think of, at this point, im using the strategy of putting out a fire with napalm. Every hurtful thing i could think off (and many that were just straight up lies) i shouted to her as to why i couldnt like her more. Her lack of ambition, her smoking habits, her skinny legs jeans, her jealousy, ANYTHING i could think of. i probably went off on a five minute tirade of the most hurtful things i've ever said to somebody. after i was done, she looks at me like superman looks at a villain thats shooting at him with a handgun. No effect. Shes so crazy she's convinced herself that i'd never actually said those things, and continues to go over the same shit she's been ranting about for almost two hours.

its 10:15. I"m drained. My brain is scrambling for some way to get her out of the car without hurting her, and then a stroke of genius.

Just because i cant hurt her, doesnt mean that she cant be hurt by her own stubborness... So i zip up my snowboarding jacket, pull the collar up, and roll down all the windows on this nice 20* night. Finally i'm getting somewhere.

Althought this is the cruelest thing i have ever done in my life, i could have cared less at the time. this girl needed to snap out of this craziness she was in. Just like the scene from x-men 2, when storm freezes the brainwash dude, this chick finally begins to see that i mean business. She's not letting down though, she only agrees that she'll go home if i go home with her. i figure what the hell, i can run faster than her, lets see how this turns out. So then I drive her back to her house as shes sobbing next to me, trying to call somebody to come get her (her cousin, whom coincidentally lives 2 blocks away from grandmas and grandpas house). We get to her house and i'm just standing around thinking "omg i should make a run for it". The girl finally gets her stuff ready and in a glimpse of sanity begins to apologize for everything that night. I'm nodding my head and saying "its okay" just as to not stir the embers or cause a back draft.

We go outside to where her cousin is waiting in her car, and she wants a hug... Omg. Okay. I walk to my car and drove with more intent than i ever have in my entire life. "Get the hell away from there as fast as you can" was all i could think. finally at 11:30 i made it home to a warm bed.

I sure know how to pick em.

[VatorMan]

HOLY SHIT !! What a story. I think I'd rather fight Kimbo Slice than go through the mental torture you just went through.

[NONE_too_SOFT]

Think im gonna stay away from the dating scene for a while after this one...

[Amber Lamps]

Dude,I'm sorry but I would have dragged her out of my car a LONG time ago! Of course,I'M an asshole! I imagine she knows where you live...good luck! Oh and as far as your choices in females go. We probably have a similar problem,A messiah complex. I,at least,always seem to go for the most damaged cow in the herd. BTW I've been in that situation before and in fact had to bodily remove a girl from my apt a couple months ago. I picked her up,walked her out the door and set her down!

[Captain Morgan]

Damn, dude, helluva story. But maybe it started by taking her to dinner with your family. If she's crazy to begin with, then this probably set her off. She probably thought you really cared for her because you've met her family and you took her to dinner with your family.

After 15 minutes of "you don't like me" rantings in the car, I'd have probably said, "Ok, I'm sorry, let's just go to the bar." Then I'd have driven her to the bar, gone in with her (she works there so you shouldn't have to worry about a cover charge), tell her you have to take a leak, then slip out while she's not looking. Head home, turn off the phone and get some sleep.

[pickle.of.doom]

Dude wtf is up with you and CRAZY ass chicks?? You must have the mark....

[JK]

i got tired just reading that. where did you dig up that girl?!?!

[marko138]

Cap'n is on to something with his game plan. Good story....bad night, for you.

[JARVIS518]

wow man thats insane
but hey did u get any pics of this girl?

sry... but hey u made it home safe and not in cuffs so live and learn

[t-homo]

Hilarious. I am like tigger, I would have kicked her out of my car after like 15 minutes of "no one likes me."