Go Back   Two Wheel Fix > Around the World > Southeast Riders > Florida Riders

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-14-2009, 05:00 PM   #1
AquaPython
put it THIS way
 
AquaPython's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,185
Default Night Befo Crizzmus

Night Befo Crizzmus
> >
> >
> > Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
> > everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
> > We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
> > dat dear Ol' Obama's, gunna brang us our checks.
> >
> > All of da family, was ly'in on the flow,
> > my sister wif her gurlfriend, and my brother wif some hoe.
> > Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all
> > when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, it
> > must be da law".
> >
> > I pulled the sheet off da windoe and what I'ze could
> > see,
> > I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.
> > But what did I see, made me say, "Laaawd look at
> > dat".
> > dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by 8 big-ass rats.
> >
> > Now over all of da years, Santy Claws he be white,
> > but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un'
> > tonight.
> > Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
> > and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.
> >
> > On Biden, On Jessie, On Polosi and Hillary Who
> > On Fannie, On Freddi, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
> > Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
> > I knowed it fo' sho', - can you believe that
> > Sh'eet!.
> >
> > Dat Santy didn't need no chimney, he picked da lock on
> > my doe,
> > an I sez to myself, "Son o' bitch....he don did dis
> > befoe"!
> > He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
> > Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun my
> > neck.
> >
> > But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
> > He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
> > Den, wif my crap in his bag, out da windoe he flew,
> > I sho' woulda shanked him, be he snagged my knife too.
> >
> > He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
> > and waz gone in two seconds, "democrat son of a
> > bitch".
> > So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,
> > 'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a
> > shit !!!!
>
__________________
Quote:
...it'd be like finding a human vagina on your unicorn. Literally fucking incredible.
AquaPython is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2009, 05:06 PM   #2
shmike
Follower
 
shmike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,549
Default

Fred Claus?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tiw3ueH3EI
__________________
Racing For Smiles
shmike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2009, 05:33 PM   #3
pauldun170
Serious Business
 
pauldun170's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York
Moto: 1993 ZX-11 2008 CBR1000rr
Posts: 9,723
Default

oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

This is awkward....
__________________


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave View Post
feed your dogs root beer it will make them grow large and then you can ride them and pet the motorcycle while drinking root beer
pauldun170 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2009, 05:35 PM   #4
shmike
Follower
 
shmike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,549
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pauldun170 View Post
oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

This is awkward....
No shit.

Like we wanted another New Yorker in the Florida section.

Lemme guess, you're Jewish?
__________________
Racing For Smiles
shmike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2009, 05:45 PM   #5
pauldun170
Serious Business
 
pauldun170's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York
Moto: 1993 ZX-11 2008 CBR1000rr
Posts: 9,723
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by shmike View Post
No shit.

Like we wanted another New Yorker in the Florida section.

Lemme guess, you're Jewish?
If I say I'm Jewish does that entitle me to make Jewish jokes?
__________________


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave View Post
feed your dogs root beer it will make them grow large and then you can ride them and pet the motorcycle while drinking root beer
pauldun170 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2009, 06:13 PM   #6
Racerboy
The Other White Meat
 
Racerboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Moto: 1997 Cadillac Seville SLS
Posts: 608
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pauldun170 View Post
If I say I'm Jewish does that entitle me to make Jewish jokes?
Absofuckinglutely!!!
__________________
Have you ever wondered if the earth was a mental asylum for people rejected from a planet more sophisticated than ours...

www.CheckeredFlagOils.com
954-975-BIKE (2453)
623-850-1OIL (1645)
Racerboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:02 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.