Go Back   Two Wheel Fix > General > Off Topic

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-03-2008, 10:29 AM   #1
Rider
Moto GP Star
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 12,156
Default Rules for female passengers

Rules for female passengers.......

1. If you have no bike but just happen to have your own helmet in your car we know you're playing us for a ride.

2. If you're going to go for a ride, go with the nicest bike, he's the one who is least likely to crash and kill you. If he has a nice bike he's probably been ridding a while. If you go with a tool who has a 86 ninja 250 we are all going to laugh at you. Plus use your head if his bike looks broke then so is he DUHHH!

3. If the bike is a "Stunt bike" or rashed up all over reconsider there is a reason its rashed up.

4. If you're FAT! Save yourself some embarrassment and save us the aggravation of trying to tell you no with out saying cuz "YOU'RE FAT BITCH!!!! We can only be sooo nice. Use your head.

5. If your friend is ugly or FAT (See rule 4) it is not my responsibility to get someone to take her.

6. If you have on a skirt then YES!!! We have to go first. No one else knows how to get where we are going(Right guys?)

7. Showing your nice tits will get you selected first for a bike ride.

8. STOP!!!!! fucking bashing your Pep-Boys helmet into the back of my $600 custom helmet..thank you!

9. Move back and stick your ass out, you're squishing my nuts.

10. Stop scratching my tank with your fake J-Lo ring set.

11. Yes it is too possible to jerk me off while I'm riding my bike, rubbing gently works too... (Note: This will also ensure you another bike ride anytime).

12. It is customary to pay for motorcycle rides with oral sex. (NOTE: If your skills aren't up to par it is definitely ok to have a girlfriend of yours assist you. Team work is what it's all about.

13. We know when a girl likes the bike and not us. If every time we call it's always the same SHIT, can we go on the bike. NO!!!!.... It's fucking March bitch.

14. Don't lean, this bike has one driver and it's me. So sit there and relax.

15. No you're not going to "GO FLYING RIGHT OFF" (Unless you piss me off then it's a possibility.)

16. Yes I'm going to go fast... stop being a bitch.

17. Yes I just adjusted my mirrors to see your tits.

18. When we stop at a gas station, you are not guaranteed a return trip. Know your role and maybe you get dropped off close to where you were found.
Rider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2008, 10:40 AM   #2
t-homo
WSB Champion
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Springfield, MO
Posts: 7,146
Default

Lol. Nice.
t-homo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2008, 11:45 AM   #3
fnfalman
Europhile
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SoCal
Moto: Aprilia RS125, Aprilia SR50 Factory, Aprilia Tuono, BMW Rockster, KTM 990 Adventure
Posts: 1,875
Default

Ass, grass or cash - nobody rides for free.
__________________
Cogito Ergo Vroom - I think therefore I ride

fnfalman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2008, 12:54 PM   #4
z06boy
Letzroll
 
z06boy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Lake Norman area, NC
Moto: 07 Red R1 & 07 Blue R6
Posts: 5,265
Default

Be nice and help clean it up too...remember the "teamwork " part ? Invite some friends.

z06boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2008, 01:20 PM   #5
smileyman
White Trash Hero
 
smileyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NW Arkansas
Moto: Buell 1125R Porco Rosso Edition
Posts: 4,895
Default

Hilarious! Of course if you want to steal this riders heart, get your own bike and show me how you can back it in while outbraking me!
__________________

Arkriders.com
To be the best you must first be willing to risk the worst!
smileyman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2008, 01:34 PM   #6
Antwanny
WERA White Plate
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,047
Default

The lord has spoken now go forth and spread the word to the bitches.
________
Herbalaire
________
tiny tits Webcams

Last edited by Antwanny; 04-07-2011 at 08:21 PM..
Antwanny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2008, 08:57 PM   #7
Mrs. Colleen
Leather and Lace
 
Mrs. Colleen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Goleta, Ca
Moto: 2005 R6
Posts: 1,810
Default

I can usually take a joke (whether it is a women-bashing joke or not) but this one is LAME. Sounds like it was written by a squid IMO.

Don't complain about the quality of women you attract if this is how you are treating them.
__________________
Because it made me laugh...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ebbs15 View Post
Ms. Colleen still makes us all think back and wonder about our preschool teachers
Mrs. Colleen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2008, 10:47 PM   #8
Cutty72
Ride Naked.
 
Cutty72's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Flat and Straight ND
Moto: 08 BUELL 1125R, 05 SV650S
Posts: 7,916
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Colleen View Post
I can usually take a joke (whether it is a women-bashing joke or not) but this one is LAME. Sounds like it was written by a squid IMO.

Don't complain about the quality of women you attract if this is how you are treating them.
OH but they are mostly true, depending on your local...

Des Moines was bad for that... all the chicks wanted rides, few new HOW to ride/be a pass, but they all had helmets to wear.

Though there was a group of hotties that always wore helmets, tube tops, mini-skirts/short shorts and flip flops... and yes, the wind while riding does have an affect on that selection of clothing.

None were with the group I rode with, but we saw them go by a time or two, and usually followed for awhile.
__________________
Adrenaline... the wonder drug.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gas Man View Post
Again... Cutty you are one smart man!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Chi View Post
If I have to get help to get it back up, I dont need to be riding it.

3662 Supply NCO

Cutty72 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2008, 02:48 AM   #9
marko138
DefenderOfTheBuelliverse
 
marko138's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Parts Unknown
Moto: Buell XB12R
Posts: 18,585
Default

I find this to be insanely offensive.
__________________


Quote:
Grandma said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
marko138 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2008, 02:50 AM   #10
Mr Lefty
TWFix Legend
 
Mr Lefty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Denver CO
Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar
Posts: 15,677
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by marko138 View Post
I find this to be insanely offensive.
dude... no one watches when your skirt flies up I promise!
Mr Lefty is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:42 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.