condolance letters for military suicides?

RACER X · 12-11-2009, 09:55 AM

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/12/...ers/index.html

Washington (CNN) -- The White House says its review of a long-standing policy not to send condolence letters to the families of military suicide victims should "hopefully" conclude "shortly."

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said the president himself asked for the review, with Gibbs telling reporters at the White House briefing on Wednesday, "If the president didn't care, the policy would remain unchanged and unexamined."

The protocol dates as far back as the Clinton administration. But now, some military families, including the Keesling family of Indiana, believe the policy needs to be changed.

In June, 25-year-old Army Spc. Chancellor Keesling shot and killed himself in Iraq. His parents, Gregg and Jannett, eventually set up a memorial wall in their home, leaving space for what they thought would be a condolence letter from the commander in chief.

It never came.

Military officials told the Keeslings that only the families of troops killed in combat receive such condolence letters from the president.

The Keeslings then wrote to both President Obama and Army Chief of Staff Gen. George W. Casey Jr.

In an October letter to Casey, Gregg Keesling explained why he wanted the policy changed.

"The lack of acknowledgment and condolences from the President, who our family admires greatly, leaves us with an emotional vacuum and a feeling that we his family have somehow [made] less of a sacrifice," Keesling said.

Last week, in a speech at West Point, as Obama laid out his new Afghanistan strategy, he talked about signing condolence letters "to the family of each American who gives their life" in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

In an e-mail to CNN after the speech, Gregg Keesling said those words stung.

"I hope they are not trying to distinguish between 'give' and 'take,' " Keesling said, adding, "It was a good speech, but [I] am just so shocked the president used that language. It is hurtful to our family and the hundreds like us who has a soldier who has died by suicide in these wars."

Asked to respond to Keesling's comments, White House press secretary Gibbs said the first thing he and the president would say "is to thank that family for the courageous service [that] they exhibited on behalf of all of us in this country so that we might enjoy the freedoms that we have."

Gibbs added, "Regardless of what happens, nothing lessens the amazing contribution and sacrifice that's made. I think that's what the president would ... tell that family and would tell ... other families."

Cutty72 · 12-11-2009, 12:29 PM

I don't want to get started on the whole suicide thing...

We've had 4 already on this deployment, thankfully none in my battalion. They have all been from other UN countries, but we did have a couple attempts recently in my sister US battalion.

skiergirl · 12-11-2009, 01:42 PM

People can argue all they want but giving your life and taking your life are NOT the same thing. No one wants to be in Iraq, everyone just wants to be home with their family but taking your life is a choice. Having it taken from you is not.

azoomm · 12-11-2009, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skiergirl

People can argue all they want but giving your life and taking your life are NOT the same thing. No one wants to be in Iraq, everyone just wants to be home with their family but taking your life is a choice. Having it taken from you is not.

I agree with you.

However, how should that affect the receipt of a letter to the FAMILY? Like the families aren't suffering enough. But, to ignore or belittle their pain because their loved one made that fateful choice....

Bluestreak · 12-11-2009, 02:30 PM

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Bluestreak,

The defense department regrets to inform you that your son is dead. He took his own life and didn't even have the common courtesy to take any of the enemy with him.
Yada yada...

Now, what proud parent of an American solder would want a letter like that?

It is sad that this happens. I feel bad for the family and friends of any person that takes their own life. But why in the world would a parent want to receive any type of letter like this? I don't think I would want this type of letter. IDK.

azoomm · 12-11-2009, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluestreak

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Bluestreak,

The defense department regrets to inform you that your son is dead. He took his own life and didn't even have the common courtesy to take any of the enemy with him.
Yada yada...

Now, what proud parent of an American solder would want a letter like that?

It is sad that this happens. I feel bad for the family and friends of any person that takes their own life. But why in the world would a parent want to receive any type of letter like this? I don't think I would want this type of letter. IDK.

I said condolences... not being a dick. Reading the attached story tells me that is what the parents were expecting. Though, it does creep me out a bit that they would want a letter to frame on the wall.

Dear family,

We're sorry for your loss...

CrazyKell · 12-11-2009, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by azoomm

I agree with you.

However, how should that affect the receipt of a letter to the FAMILY? Like the families aren't suffering enough. But, to ignore or belittle their pain because their loved one made that fateful choice....

Exactly. People often make flippant comments about suicide but I don't think most people understand just how hard that decision is, and how mentally effed up a person is to come to that decision. But regardless of the decision or the person that did it, their family is still suffering a loss. That loss should not be diminished.

Quote:

Originally Posted by azoomm

I said condolences... not being a dick.

Well said.

Bluestreak · 12-11-2009, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by azoomm

I said condolences... not being a dick. Reading the attached story tells me that is what the parents were expecting. Though, it does creep me out a bit that they would want a letter to frame on the wall.

Dear family,

We're sorry for your loss...

You're probably right. I am a dick sometimes.

I just don't think I'd ever want a letter like that. I'd rather not receive anything, but that's just what I think now. If either one of my kids join the military, I reserve the right to change my mind. Right now I just don't think I could handle a letter.

askmrjesus · 12-11-2009, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by azoomm

However, how should that affect the receipt of a letter to the FAMILY? Like the families aren't suffering enough. But, to ignore or belittle their pain because their loved one made that fateful choice....

Exactly. Either way the guy is still dead.

Who's the idiot that came up with this policy in the first place? What, did they think this would deter people from killing themselves?

"Bad soldier! You committed suicide. No letter for your Ma".

JC

101lifts2 · 12-11-2009, 07:27 PM

If only we could find out who these people are BEFORE they wack themselves, we could use them as suicide bombers. Just sayin..

12-11-2009, 09:55 AM	#1
RACER X AMA Supersport Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Richmond, Tx Moto: '10 Tuono Factory Posts: 4,569	condolance letters for military suicides? http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/12/...ers/index.html Washington (CNN) -- The White House says its review of a long-standing policy not to send condolence letters to the families of military suicide victims should "hopefully" conclude "shortly." White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said the president himself asked for the review, with Gibbs telling reporters at the White House briefing on Wednesday, "If the president didn't care, the policy would remain unchanged and unexamined." The protocol dates as far back as the Clinton administration. But now, some military families, including the Keesling family of Indiana, believe the policy needs to be changed. In June, 25-year-old Army Spc. Chancellor Keesling shot and killed himself in Iraq. His parents, Gregg and Jannett, eventually set up a memorial wall in their home, leaving space for what they thought would be a condolence letter from the commander in chief. It never came. Military officials told the Keeslings that only the families of troops killed in combat receive such condolence letters from the president. The Keeslings then wrote to both President Obama and Army Chief of Staff Gen. George W. Casey Jr. In an October letter to Casey, Gregg Keesling explained why he wanted the policy changed. "The lack of acknowledgment and condolences from the President, who our family admires greatly, leaves us with an emotional vacuum and a feeling that we his family have somehow [made] less of a sacrifice," Keesling said. Last week, in a speech at West Point, as Obama laid out his new Afghanistan strategy, he talked about signing condolence letters "to the family of each American who gives their life" in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. In an e-mail to CNN after the speech, Gregg Keesling said those words stung. "I hope they are not trying to distinguish between 'give' and 'take,' " Keesling said, adding, "It was a good speech, but [I] am just so shocked the president used that language. It is hurtful to our family and the hundreds like us who has a soldier who has died by suicide in these wars." Asked to respond to Keesling's comments, White House press secretary Gibbs said the first thing he and the president would say "is to thank that family for the courageous service [that] they exhibited on behalf of all of us in this country so that we might enjoy the freedoms that we have." Gibbs added, "Regardless of what happens, nothing lessens the amazing contribution and sacrifice that's made. I think that's what the president would ... tell that family and would tell ... other families." __________________ ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ 2014 GROM! 181cc of FURY 2010 Aprilia Tuono Factory - SOLD 2009 SFV Gladius - SOLD 2008 Hayabusa - SOLD.

12-11-2009, 02:30 PM	#5
Bluestreak What? Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Lancaster, PA Moto: Dirt Posts: 578	Dear Mr. & Mrs. Bluestreak, The defense department regrets to inform you that your son is dead. He took his own life and didn't even have the common courtesy to take any of the enemy with him. Yada yada... Now, what proud parent of an American solder would want a letter like that? It is sad that this happens. I feel bad for the family and friends of any person that takes their own life. But why in the world would a parent want to receive any type of letter like this? I don't think I would want this type of letter. IDK. __________________ Lean till you see sparks. If they are coming from your pegs you are doing good. If they are coming from you tank, you've just gained wisdom... Wisdom usually hurts.

12-11-2009, 07:27 PM	#10
101lifts2 WSB Champion Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Anaheim, CA Moto: 2009 Kawi ZX6R Posts: 5,570	If only we could find out who these people are BEFORE they wack themselves, we could use them as suicide bombers. Just sayin.. __________________ Train Hard Ron Paul - 2012 Mark of Excellence GM

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12-11-2009, 01:42 PM	#3
skiergirl Gixxer Girl Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Kyle, TX Moto: 05 GSXR 750 & 06 YZ250F Posts: 1,424	People can argue all they want but giving your life and taking your life are NOT the same thing. No one wants to be in Iraq, everyone just wants to be home with their family but taking your life is a choice. Having it taken from you is not.