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Old 12-14-2009, 01:28 PM   #1
cuttle
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Default x-mas cookies!

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies


1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl,check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry
it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas !
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Old 12-14-2009, 01:31 PM   #2
LeeNetworX
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Die Eier Von Satan (The Balls of Satan) by Tool

Eine halbe Tasse Staubzucker
Ein Viertel Teeloffel Salz
Eine Messerspitze turkisches Haschisch
Ein halbes Pfund Butter
Ein Teeloffel Vanillenzucker
Ein halbes Pfund Mehl
Einhundertfunfzig Gramm gemahlene Nusse
Ein wenig extra Staubzucker
... und keine Eier

In eine Schussel geben
Butter einruhren
Gemahlene Nusse zugeben und
Den Teig verkneten

Augenballgro?e Stucke vom Teig formen
Im Staubzucker walzen und
Sagt die Zauberworter
Simsalbimbamba Saladu Saladim

Auf ein gefettetes Backblech legen und
Bei zweihundert Grad fur funfzehn Minuten backen und
KEINE EIER

Bei zweihundert Grad fur funfzehn Minuten backen und
Keine Eier...



English Translation:

The eggs of satan

Half a cup of powdered sugar
One quarter teaspoo salt
One knifetip turkish hash
Half a pound butter
One teaspoon vanilla-sugar
Half a pound flour
150 g ground nuts
A little extra powdered sugar
... and no eggs

Place in a bowl
Add butter
Add the ground nuts and
Knead the dough

Form eyeball-size pieces from the dough
Roll in the powdered sugar
And say the magic words:
’sim sala bim bamba sala do saladim’

Place on a greased baking pan and
Bake at 200 degrees for 15 minutes
...and no eggs

Bake at 200 degrees for 15 minutes
...and no eggs.
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Old 12-14-2009, 01:33 PM   #3
OneNotSoSickPsycho
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Old 12-14-2009, 05:49 PM   #4
Particle Man
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Nice
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I'm "Enlarged to show texture."


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Old 12-14-2009, 05:54 PM   #5
Cory
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cuttle View Post
Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas !
mutley?
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