Snake Balls, Part IV: The Wall of Snake

[askmrjesus]

Goddammit.

My dumb-ass cat just brought a snake in the house. I think it's a juvenile Rat Snake, or maybe a Cobra, I don't know. Fuckers all look the same to me. Anyway, I look down, and there's the cat playing tug of war with a 2 foot snake. Cat's winning. Great.

I tried to grab the snake, remembered I hate snakes, and grabbed the cat instead. Fucking cat would not let go, so then I'm spinning in circles, holding the cat, holding the snake, trying not to get bit. Cat finally lets go, and I toss her sorry ass into the next room.

Turn around to kick the snake out the door, but he goes behind the door instead. HA! I've got him cornered. Swing the door back...fucker's gone.

I then noticed a hole in the wall, where I have yet to replace the floor trim...

I should have tossed the cat AND the snake, out the front door, and yelled Bon Apetite! But no, my wife has convinced me to not kill every snake I see on sight, as was my previous policy.

Fucking wife.

Now I have a fucking snake, in my fucking wall. Snake Wall. Fuck.

JC