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Old 04-09-2009, 09:35 PM   #31
askmrjesus
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Everyone is different, but for me I can't see marrying anyone without having lived with them first. There are way too many little idiosyncracies and pet peeves that crop up when 2 people share the same space 24/7. You think you know everything about someone but you really don't. Better to discover that stuff before the wedding rather than after.
My first wife and I, had a "Bi-Coastal" relationship. I lived in LA, she lived in New York.

I eventually talked her into moving in with me in LA.

Six months later, we were divorced.

JC
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Old 04-09-2009, 09:44 PM   #32
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Everyone is different, but for me I can't see marrying anyone without having lived with them first. There are way too many little idiosyncracies and pet peeves that crop up when 2 people share the same space 24/7. You think you know everything about someone but you really don't. Better to discover that stuff before the wedding rather than after.
I tend to agree.
Of course, there are those who say being married changes things, but I just can't see it.

One of my ex-gf's lived with me for a couple of months when she moved to Austin and didn't have her own place yet.
I've had others stay with me for varying periods of time but I think that particular one was the longest.
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Old 04-09-2009, 10:04 PM   #33
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Ive lived with one, and am currently married to her. Like someone said everyone is diffrent but ill just say this you learn A LOT about a person when you move in with them. Things that you wouldn't otherwise know, and in my opinion could be a HUGE problem if you were already married.
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Old 04-09-2009, 11:00 PM   #34
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im on #2. i dont see how you could really know a person by not doing it...
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Old 04-09-2009, 11:10 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by Homeslice View Post
Everyone is different, but for me I can't see marrying anyone without having lived with them first. There are way too many little idiosyncracies and pet peeves that crop up when 2 people share the same space 24/7. You think you know everything about someone but you really don't. Better to discover that stuff before the wedding rather than after.
I concure wholeheartedly. Although, living with them before doesn't mean you know everything you need to. Things can change either way. To answer the question though, I've lived with all of my "serious" SO's. One ex-husband, one ex-fiance, one ex-boyfriend (I kind of lived with him, had a home elsewhere but for the last 5 months or so of our one year relationship was always at his place) and lived with my current husband before we got married.
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Old 04-09-2009, 11:15 PM   #36
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1. I would want to live with someone before getting married. You can learn a lot about someone living with them. I wouldn't want to find some of these things out after signing on the dotted line.

James
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Old 04-10-2009, 12:02 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by Homeslice View Post
Everyone is different, but for me I can't see marrying anyone without having lived with them first. There are way too many little idiosyncracies and pet peeves that crop up when 2 people share the same space 24/7. You think you know everything about someone but you really don't. Better to discover that stuff before the wedding rather than after.
I agree completely. I would never marry a woman that I hadn't lived with for awhile.

There are things you can hide for a few days.
There are things you can hide for a few weeks.
Possibly even things you can hide for a few months.
Living together is the best way to get a chance to find out those little things and decide if they are deal breakers or not, BEFORE it's "too late"

So yes, I've lived with 1 SO, the current one, commonboys.
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Old 04-10-2009, 12:18 AM   #38
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one the current one. and i agree. better to know before you gotta give up half!
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Old 04-10-2009, 12:20 AM   #39
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I lived with Ulu before we got married and I really wish we hadn't. It made for more stress and caused some huge problems. Of course, I hate living with anyone, so maybe I'd feel that way no matter what. No others, I really hate sharing closets and bathrooms.
What about living together before being married made it worse. Anything bad that would happen during that time, could keep me from popping the question.

James
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Old 04-10-2009, 01:41 AM   #40
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What about living together before being married made it worse. Anything bad that would happen during that time, could keep me from popping the question.
I've gotta wonder about that too.
What about marrying a person makes them any different than the person they were before you married them?
There are those who believe that making the commitment to a person before you co-habitate makes you more tolerant of whatever they bring into the marriage.
Then again, there are also those who think that having a child makes the baby vomit not icky and their cries music to your ears in a crowded restaurant.
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